


Never Stay Buried

by jolybird



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Character Death, F/M, M/M, Zombie Related Gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 07:00:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8092282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jolybird/pseuds/jolybird
Summary: On a particularly nondescript day, Arthur comes home in a panic and drags everyone off to a base where his father works. By noon, the world they knew is gone. They are now living in an unrelenting zombie apocalypse where just surviving is the hardest thing to do.Somehow, Gwen has to find a way to drag everyone from the blood, tears and ashes and figure out how to just stay alive.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic started out as a tiny little drabble that just sat on my computer waaayyyy back when and it really evolved into a monster. I got to play around with so many things in this fic and I hope it's as fun to read as it was to write. 
> 
> Huge thanks goes out to [storiofmylife](http://archiveofourown.org/users/storiofmylife/profile) who beta'd the hell out of this fic (seriously, at one point she made 500 edits to it, five _hundred_ , and to the AfterCamlann mods who run this big bang so seamlessly!! And lots and lots of love and thanks to [matchboximpala](http://archiveofourown.org/users/matchboximpala/pseuds/matchboximpala) for pitch hitting(!!) & creating this fantastic banner which I seriously adore. Everyone should go check out her [art post](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8017612)!!

[ ](http://s32.photobucket.com/user/Cortney_Warrick/media/never_600_zpsqsbrpibx.jpg.html)

* * *

 

One the first day Arthur burst into the apartment before Merlin and Gwen could leave for work, making the door bounce back off the wall and the windows shake. “Pack your things. We have to go.”

Gwen and Merlin had just stared at him as the door slowly shut on its own behind him.

He had pulled his phone out, calling Morgana as he tore into his room. He made Merlin call Percival and Gwaine, made him tell them to pack their bags, they were never coming back, that they had to meet at a military base as quickly as possible. They had all followed his instructions without knowing what was wrong.

“Maybe Arthur’s finally lost it?” Gwaine had said over speaker as Merlin helped Gwen pack her bag but within the hour they had all assembled. His face had been drawn and pale. He had been gone for several days and there were rumours going around that the BBC was almost obviously avoiding. Vague rumours of unrest and things being wrong. Protests or some slow-acting disaster maybe, a chemical spill, a new law being passed quietly, some sort of change in the government.

They all assembled, trusting him instinctively, despite reason and better judgement.

Within hours, the world had fallen apart.

Gwen had watched it fall on a TV in the canteen. Around her, the base roared with life, with orders and commands, but she stood shocked still, taking it all in. A couple snapchats; shaky cellphone video that ended with a black screen and screams. She couldn’t move away from her spot. They went to correspondents in Asia, the Americas, Africa, all pale faced and stern, talking about the same thing.

She couldn’t wrap her head around it, couldn’t comprehend the screams. That morning she had woken up and showered, using the fancy sugar scrub Morgana had given her for her birthday. She had brushed her teeth making faces at Merlin and she had made her coffee with too much sugar. The coffee had been disgusting and she had complained as she drank it.

Now the TV showed blood drenching the streets, scientists and health experts trying to rationalize what was going on; hacks pulled into the studio from the street screaming about aliens and Republicans and immigrants.

The pale face, the wide eyes of a correspondent in Turkey who was the first to say zombie.

The first couple days she could do nothing but listen to the reports, watch the estimated death count rise higher and higher. Her friends raced around her but she was almost in a trance. She was in a dream and this wasn’t happening.

Then Elyan raced into the canteen, blood splattered on his face. “Mum and Dad are here. They’re okay.” He tugged her into the infirmary and they looked terrible, bruised and exhausted, but they smiled wide when they saw her and held her tightly.

A part of her didn’t believe that all of this could touch them, all she had seen was the inside of the base, people rushing about as she sat shell shocked. The blood and terror had only ever been on television but now, with her parents shaking arms around her. This was happening now, here, to her and the people she cared about. 

In a bed nearby, Gaius was tending to a man who looked half-dead. His hands were strapped to the bed, just in case he had been infected, and he looked like he was scarcely breathing. Her mother whispered that he had saved their lives.

Gwen pulled away from them and turned to Gaius who she was pretty sure helped run the infirmary, “What can I do to help?”

Gaius smiled at her kindly, there were dark circles under his eyes and his hands shook a little. “Morgana’s been having migraines and she hasn’t been by this morning for pain killers, could you take these to her? I’m afraid she’s trying to ignore it but that will only make it worse.”

“Of course.” She turned back to her parents, “Are you alright?”

“We’re fine, love.” Her father smiled as she grabbed a washcloth and gently dabbed at Elyan’s blood-splattered cheek.

“Are you okay?” Gwen asked quietly, her brother’s eyes were haunted, but he managed up a smile.

“Don’t worry about me, while you’re out, do me a favor and find Merlin as well? I don’t think he got any sleep last night.”

Gwen had been at base for over a week now and it was still as unfamiliar as it had been from the start. She had been terrified and overwhelmed and useless in pretty much every way she could have been. Squaring her shoulders, she asked around until a tall middle aged man with a lopsided grin pointed her in the direction of the garage and she headed outside.

There were no birds, no sounds of traffic outside, just the din of people talking nearby. Metal clanked against metal and power tools ripped apart her uneasiness. She hadn’t seen the outside world with her own eyes, everything was still a hazy movie to her.

She knew her friends and family had been thrown into it first hand, Arthur and Elyan were first to volunteer to rescue missions, Perce had once gotten her some clothes on a supply run. They lived in this world, but not her, not yet.

There was a perimeter fence erected around the compound and someone was moving towards the edge, probably checking to make sure it wasn’t damaged. Gwen had been almost willfully deaf to everything going on but she had woken up to gunfire on more than one occasion.

As she walked across the grass towards the garage, the person by the fence walked towards her. They looked like a woman with long dark hair and for a moment she thought it was Morgana. But she walked with a limp and her head was tilted to the side.

The smell of blood washed over her and Gwen froze.

Then she screamed.

_A zombie._

That woman hadn’t been checking to see if there was a hole in a fence--they had gotten through it.

Gwen knew she had to move, to react, but her body wouldn’t listen; she stood absolutely still, sickened by the smell of blood and the way the woman’s head was drooped to the side.

“Gwen!” Merlin called and then he was in front of her a moment later. The sight of him didn’t calm her down--if anything it only made her panic more--it was behind him. “Gwen--what’s wrong? What’s the matter?”

Morgana came running out of the garage with a broom in her hand and Gwen gripped Merlin’s arm. She pulled Merlin back and Morgana swung the broom with such a force it knocked the zombie down. Percival appeared from nowhere with an axe that he used to sever the poor woman’s head right off.

“That’s the only way they die.” someone was saying but the earth was spinning around her and a high pitched ringing in her ears that drowned everything out.

“Gwen!” Merlin gasped and that’s when she realized she was being sick. Merlin rubbed her back as she gagged, and helped her sit up. He cupped her face in his hands and murmured encouragement as she caught her breath and tried to will her hands to stop shaking.

“Are you alright?” Morgana asked several minutes later as she and Merlin helped her stand.

Gwen shook her head and then nodded, “Gaius wanted you to take these pills.” She reached into her skirt and pulled out the two tiny pills and then glanced to Merlin, “Elyan said that you haven’t gotten any sleep. You’re no help to anyone sleep deprived, so come back with me.”

“Gwen,” Merlin began gently, but she forced a stern look on her face.

“That wasn’t a request. You’re coming with me.”

Perce smiled at how strong her voice sounded, how she probably sounded more like herself just then than she had in days. She took a deep breath and then dragged Merlin away. 

“We were all worried for you.” Merlin said softly, walking towards Gwen and Morgana’s room. “You were in shock.”

“I’m no help to anyone like that. I need to get over it, to get used to it or learn how to deal with it.” 

Merlin pulled her down onto her bed with him and they leaned against the wall. Gwen curled into him like they did when they were kids. The two of them, along with Leon and Elyan, had grown up together. When Merlin had been eleven he and his mother went off to live with Gaius in Ealdor but they had all kept in touch throughout the years. Hunith, Merlin’s mother, was her mother’s best friend so they took vacations to the country and Merlin to the city frequently.

“Gwen, you don’t have to be a help. You don’t have to do anything.”

She squeezed his hand and ignored the fact hers were still shaking, “I have to. I’m able to. I’m ready to.”

Merlin smiled sadly at her, “There’s no shortage of ways to help, Gaius always needs hand in the infirmary, the kitchen always needs help and then Gwaine’s always with the people trying to locate lost loved ones.”

“Have they found your mother yet? Was she with my parents?” Although they lived far apart, she was praying that by some luck of fate, their parents had been together. They visited each other all the time, it wouldn’t be impossible.

Merlin shook his head, “But Ealdor is miles away...we’re trying to get in contact with other camps, but it’s slow going.”

“Is the internet still up?” If the internet was up then all they had to do was go on Facebook, go through their friends lists, find someone, anyone, who was still out there.

Merlin shook his head, “Most people don’t have power so it doesn’t make a difference.”

“We’ll find her.”

“Yeah.” Merlin sighed, but he sounded close to tears. The two stayed like that for hours, dozing in and out of consciousness until the door was thrown open and Arthur came in carrying dinner.

He held up two plates and then Morgana, Gwaine, Perce, Leon and her brother followed suit, all bringing dinner and drinks. Merlin groaned goodnaturedly and rubbed his eyes, “We were sleeping.”

“Budge over.” Arthur flopped next to his boyfriend and handed him a plate of mac and cheese and questionable vegetables.

“We were asleep.” Merlin repeated, but was already digging into his mac and cheese.

“Yeah, knowing you two, you were probably trying to come up with a way to befriend the zombies,” Morgana said lightly, perched on the edge of her bed that the three others had commandeered.

“There’s a cure. There’s got to be.” Merlin said around a mouthful of mac and cheese. Gwen looked to him, that was the first time she had heard anyone talking about a cure.

Arthur shook his head, “No. You’ve seen what happens to people when they get infected, you’ve seen the way they take fatal injuries and carry on...there’s no cure for that.”

“All viruses have cures, you just have to find it.”

“I’ve seen people missing half their heads walking around like they were just on their way back from the pub. Whatever we’re dealing with isn’t what we’re used to. Even if there is a cure, all it would do would be kill them because they’re, you know, walking around with their ribcages out or--”

“Please don’t talk about this when we’re trying to eat.” Leon said quietly and, despite herself, Gwen giggled.

“Gwen please don’t laugh, you’re making it worse.” His voice was dry and she really couldn’t help it, she kept giggling. She could feel the way it made the others uncomfortable, and she could physically feel how wrong it was but, the Leon’s dry tone was just too _normal_ for all of this.

Her laughter was long gone by the time dinner was done and Arthur and Merlin were in a full blown shouting match about whether they should be looking for a cure or not. Everyone snuck out of the room except for Morgana and Gwen who fluctuated between arguing with or against them, and trying to get them to stop.

The argument ended with Arthur storming out of the room and Merlin throwing himself under Gwen’s covers. Gwen just let him be and crawled into bed next to him when Morgana decided it was bedtime. Merlin left sometimes in the early morning with a quiet thanks and a kiss on her cheek.

The next morning Gwen pulled her hair back and and went to find Gwaine in the room that was currently serving as the Missing Persons HQ (he had put a little sign on the door).

On the walls were drawings and pictures of friends and family, names and dates of when they last checked in. It was sort of chaotic, and worryingly, it was a _Gwaine_ kind of chaos.

“Please don’t tell me you’re running this by yourself,” she said in lieu of greeting.

Gwaine, pencil stuck behind his ear and spun around in the office chair, “Of course not, I have a ethereal partner who has come to assist.”

She rolled her eyes, but pulled up a chair and let Gwaine explain his hairbrain system. Uther, since he was the General in Charge (even though Gwen couldn’t remember seeing him once), allowed him to have a radio. Gwaine was going through the frequencies and contacting other bases and just random civilians; trying to create an information web.

“Sometimes we’re lucky and we can get on Facebook for a few hours,” he explained, “but soon people will be losing their backup generators and get thrown back into the Stone Age.” Gwen nodded and let him explain the difference between things that were pinned on the wall, things that were piled on the bookshelf, things that were stuffed between pages of books.

“So...what does this pile mean?” she asked for what felt like the twentieth time several minutes later, kneeling on the floor to look at the bottom shelf of the bookcase. 

“Probably dead, but there’s always room for a miracle,” was the offhanded remark and she had to rub her temples.

“Listen, just get on the radio and try to get in contact with the other bases okay? Uther is doing like offical things on the main lines, but I’ve been _given permission_ to try some of the other lines.” He swept from the room, “I’ll be right back, gotta speak to a man about some whiskey.” Gwen rolled her eyes, but then started down the list of numbers.

Most of the lines were static that just ate her words but she continued down the list, devoting several long minutes to each line. Eventually, Gwaine wandered out in search of something to eat and Gwen started to feel a little overwhelmed by the sheets of paper. Each one of them was someone missing--Hunith was one of them, their Uni friends, professors, neighbors.

“--there?”

Gwen froze as the static gave way to a voice and for a moment she wasn’t sure if she had imagined it or not. “Hello?” she said again, and then a woman’s voice spoke.

“Hello. Who is this?”

“Gwen. I’m at the Combermere Barracks.”

“Hi, Gwen. We’re at the Gamecock Barracks in Bramcote. I honestly don’t know where the fuck Combermere is?”

“Windsor.” Gwen’s heartbeat sped up a little and she looked towards the door, Gwaine had _just_ left and the woman on the line sounded _so_ familiar. “Eira?”

There was a heartbeat and then, “Gwen--like-- _my Gwen_?”

Tears filled her eyes and her hands shook, “Gwaine just left--he’s alright though--he’s been looking everywhere for you.”

“I’ve been looking for him! Gwen, how are you? Are you with your brother?” Another voice tried to talk over her but the line went quiet for a moment and she continued on as if she hadn’t been interrupted, “Please tell me they’re alright.”

They traded news back and forth for several moments before the sound of a mug shattering made Gwen flinch.

Gwaine stood in the doorway, staring at her. “Gwaine’s here. Let me put him on.”

“How did you do that?” he demanded, “How did you find her?”

“She was looking for you.” Shrugging, Gwen let him have the radio and then left the room with him muttering about magic.

She wished she had a spell to find people. She’d be able to find all the faces on the wall, lost or dead or dying. Or safe but separated. She leaned against the doorway, trying to get her heartbeat under control but eventually gave up on it and decided the best thing to do was to keep busy. 

She caught up with Gaius in the infirmary where he was taking inventory. They were planning a supply run in the next few days and everyone was on edge; there was no telling what was waiting for them out there. Zombies were equally as dangerous as other humans trying to survive.

Less than a half hour after she started counting bandages, Percival strolled in, a cut above his eye. Gwen rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips, “How on earth did you manage that?”

He shrugged, completely unperturbed, “Walked into one of the pipes in the basement.”

“I thought Bedivere banned you from the basement?” Gaius said with a soft laugh as Gwen grabbed the bandages and started cleaning up the cut. It was shallow and small and would heal quickly.

“The ceiling’s too low?” She asked. She only distantly knew Bedivere, they had bumped into each other once or twice and he had befriended her friends quickly.

“We’re cleaning it out, there’s all kinds of garbage down there when we should be using it for storage and emergency shelters.” Percival, who wasn’t the best patient on base, but absolutely not the worst, just sort of twisted around in the chair a bit to keep himself entertained, “Meghan and Robbes wanted to know if you were coming for cards after dinner? Elyan’s demanding you come.”

“Well I guess if Elyan’s demanding...” She murmured and Perce beamed at her. He looked perfectly content with where he was, so after she finished bandaging the cut, Gwen put him to work.

It had been two weeks since the outbreak. Everyone was adapting to the new world they were thrown into, they were starting to sleep through the night, starting to learn how to live other than just survive.

The world out there was falling apart but somehow they were piecing together a home.

 

* * *

 

 

The first attack was the worst. It had been raining on and off for the better part of a week when the wind started to pick up. Lightning lit up the inside of Gwen and Morgana’s room where they and their friends, both new and old,  were playing cards in an attempt at normalcy.

Then there was a giant crash and the ground shook.

“Bloody hell--what was that--” Arthur gasped, kicking his feet off the table and wandering over to the window. He squinted in the darkness as Perce glanced around uneasily.

“It sounded a bit like a tree falling?”

Gwaine was on his feet a second before Elyan, “We should go make sure no one was hurt.”

Arthur swore and pushed himself away from the window, “I think the perimeter fence was damaged.”

“What the fuck--” Morgana gasped, already running past everyone out into the hall. Gwen followed after her and they all reached the front doors the same time Steven and Kay were running back in.

“Zombies breached the fence--,” Kay gasped, their face white.

“Were they just waiting for a force of nature to give them access--” Elyan gasped, and looked around to the others, half of whom were already running to get weapons. “No, seriously.”

Gwen grabbed his arm and dragged him along with the others.

Arthur handed Gwen a knife, and nodded in the opposite direction of the breech. “You and Merlin head that way, alert everyone and make sure the door are sealed.” Gwen nodded and didn’t wait for Merlin as she ran down the hall. 

They banged on doors, woke the early risers up, and slowly made their way to the less populated part of the building.

Merlin and Gwen walked down the hall, the darkness seemed to reach out towards them, ready to drag them into oblivion. At the other end of the hall, near the canteen, the silhouette of an old woman stood. She was talking to herself, and she sounded hurt. The only problem was that Gwen didn’t recognize her.

She had been at the camp long enough that she knew everyone by now, she had made it her mission to know everyone.

“Excuse me--Ma’am--” she began as she got near, hand on her knife.

The woman turned and Gwen stumbled back, grabbing onto Merlin’s arm. Merlin stepped half in front of her, brandishing the metal baseball bat.

The woman’s face was half caved in with terrible claw marks scraped across the other half and down her throat. Blood dripped down her front and splashed against the tile floor.

She didn’t charge them, though, not like Gwen had seen happen before. The zombie just seemed to regard them with unseeing eyes and then it took a step forward. Gwen and Merlin both braced themselves.

Then, unbelievably, the corpse _spoke_ , “ _Emrys_.”

Merlin flinched and held the bat out straighter, as if trying to create more distance between them. Gwen glanced around them but the hall was deserted.

“Emrys...no one can know what destiny awaits them but you, Emrys, your life has been written in blood. It has been written in blood since the time of the old religion. Terrible things await you, dear one, and your heart will die. But fear not, Arthur will rise again, Emrys, and you, you will be at the heart of it all. When Albion’s need is greatest, Arthur will rise again.”

“What the fuck--” Merlin whispered and Gwen felt so terrified by this corpse speaking that she was near tears. It was a gurgling, clicking sound like someone gasping for air.

But it spoke about Merlin and Arthur like it knew them and so she took a breath, “What do you mean? What do you mean his _heart_ will _die--_ ”

“Guinevere…” it gurgled and Gwen whimpered despite herself, “you--”

A shot rang out and Gwen and Merlin both watched what was left of the poor woman’s face splatter against the wall.

“Fuck--are you two alright!” Gwen spun around as Gwaine and Perce reached them. Gwaine picked her up into a tight hug and she unsuccessfully tried not to cry. He put her back down on the floor and bent down to look her in the eye, “Are you alright?”

She wiped her eyes, “Yeah. We’re fine. We weren’t hurt.”

“What was it doing?” Perce asked, looking between the slumped body and them.

“It...was talking.” Merlin’s voice was distant, unable to look away from the body.

“Talking? They can talk?” Gwaine asked, but Perce looked between Merlin and Gwen.

“What did it say?”

“It knew our names.” Gwen blurted out and then looked to Merlin, “But the rest didn’t make any sense.”

“Christ--did you know her? Was she from our camp?”

Merlin shook her head, “I didn’t recognize her.”

“Me either. It doesn’t make any sense. But…” she turned to Merlin, “Maybe she had been a professor or worked at Uni? Do you think?”

“I...she must have been...that must be it. It doesn’t make any sense if she wasn’t.”

“Come on, let’s get out of here. We’re clearing the rest of this side.”

Merlin reached down and squeezed Gwen’s hand and they both were forced to push the bizarre event from their minds as they tracked down the remaining zombies and went out into the storm to rebuild the perimeter fence.

By morning, twelve people were dead. Including Uther Pendragon. The loss rocked through the camp. He had been so firm, so sure in his convictions. He had been free and outspoken with his ideas that usually quickly turned into plans. They had lost the closest thing they had to a leader and now everyone was going to have to band together to rebuild what they had lost.

 

* * *

 

But, for all the terrible shit that was happening in the world, there were still a few moments of sunlight.

Gwen laughed as she threw her arms out to maintain her balance perched on Arthur’s shoulders. “I'm going to fall!”

“I’ve got you--you’re fine.”

As if in response, she wobbled wildly and Merlin went to catch her. She caught her balance and Percival lifted Merlin up. He immediately started protesting but Perce ignored him, “Sucks to be the smallest.” Birds chirped in the trees around them and a couple of the kids were playing tag.

Gwen lost her balance and toppled from Arthur’s shoulders only to be caught by the man who had been carried in half-dead with her parents all those weeks ago. For a moment, she was caught in his dark eyes and stupidly smiled back, before he put her on the ground and she regained herself. “Arthur Pendragon you great prat!” she swatted at him and Arthur ran for protection between Gwaine and Elyan, who ignored him. “I told you you were going to drop me and _you dropped me_!”

“Nice catch, Lance!” Gwaine called. He was sprawled out on a blanket, half on top of Elyan, both of whom were ‘working on their tan’. Lance laughed and Gwen was forced to avoid her brother’s knowing smile.

Morgana, who had steadily refused to come _hang out_ with them, came jogging over, her face a mix of terror and happiness. “Merlin, you have to come with me right now.”

From atop Perce’s shoulders, he just stared down at her, “Umm--what...?”

“Now, Merlin before Leon and I lose the signal.”

Merlin scrambled down and then the two of them raced off towards the offices.

“What on Earth are they up to?”

“Who the hell knows.”

Gwen flopped down onto the blanket next to her brother and Gwaine who didn’t even budge an inch. She pulled her legs into her chest and watched as Arthur, Lance and Perce started throwing a ball around. She shut her eyes and let the breeze blow her hair about her shoulders.

Elyan and Gwaine fell quiet for several minutes and Gwen should have realized they were up to something.

“So, hey, Guinevere…” Gwaine began and she opened an eye to glance to him pointedly. “Lance is, like, really fit isn’t he?”

She tipped her head back and kicked her legs out in front of her, bracing herself on her arms. Laughing, she said, “Want me to ask if he likes you?”

Elyan laughed loudly and Arthur glanced over. “Gwaine has a crush!” Gwen explained and he smiled.

“I’m flattered but I’m taken,” he told Gwaine as gently as he could.

Gwaine wasn’t perturbed in the slightest and just continued on, “Your brother and I have noticed that he keeps looking for you. He seems to really enjoy your company.”

“Does he?” she smiled, “Are you jealous?”

“Of who, you or him?”

Gwen smiled and didn’t answer. She tilted her head back and let the sun warm her. Fall was coming and soon it was going to be too cold for days like this.

She didn’t know how long they were out there until Merlin, Morgana and Leon came back. Arthur immediately stopped what he was doing to go over to him. Merlin looked sort of manic.

“It’s Mum--she’s barricaded in the library back home--I have to--” Merlin paced around, as if he wasn’t exactly sure what he had to do.

Arthur, however, looked like he already had a plan in motion, “We’ll go get her, of course. Bring her home.”

“Go to Ealdor? Go to Wales?”

Arthur and Gwaine both shrugged and then Gwaine said, “Yo, we can do it.”

“We’ll leave during the next supply run.” Arthur said, crossing his arms and either he had this planned for a while or he was being truly impressive right now, “We’re set to go west so we’ll go with the supply run and then break off. We’ll take one of the cars so that leaves room for six--”

“Dibs.” Leon and Elyan called together but Gwen found herself shaking her head.

“You’re too important to the camp. I’ll go. I’m the best shot out of all of us here and I’m not as important.” Everyone sort of protested it together but she shook her head, “I don’t go on supply runs, everything I do can be divided up by everyone else. I’m being rational not self-deprecating.” 

“Gwen…” Merlin began but she turned her attention to Arthur.

“So we have three days to prepare.”

“If Gwen’s going, I’m going.” Morgana added and it took every bit of Arthur’s self control to keep his expression neutral. “It’s going to take about five hours to drive there, depending on what we come across and you know I’m the best driver here.”

“Uh--actually…” Merlin began but Arthur shut his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.

“Merlin, Guinevere, Morgana and I will go.”

“I don’t like this.” Elyan said but Merlin had a smile on his face that he couldn’t shake. Gwen understood completely, she felt the same way whenever she saw her parents--they were here, in this crazy world they were safe.

“We’re going to get your mother, Merlin.”

Gwen allowed herself to smile along with Merlin, giving into hope for one of the first times in days.

 

* * *

 

The car veered off the road and then flipped.

They had been driving for nearly seven hours, they were _minutes_ from Ealdor.

Then a group of dogs raced into the street, lunged at the windshield and Arthur lost control of the car.

Someone was screaming as the world rolled around them and the seatbelt dug into Gwen’s chest and hips. She tried to find something to hold on to but the car slammed into the ground too violently and then it was over.

The car rested on it’s side and Gwen hung awkwardly in her seat. Morgana’s side was on the ground; and for a terrifying moment, the other woman didn’t stir. Then she groaned and gingerly pushed herself up, mindful of the shattered glass.

“Gwen?” she whispered as her wide eyes met hers.

“I’m okay--Arthur? Merlin?”

“Fuck!” Arthur swore scrambling around in the front, ”Did you see them--how far did they roll--who still has a gun.”

“Merlin?” Morgana asked, looking towards the front seat. Gwen couldn’t see him and she started to panic as Morgana fumbled with her seatbelt until it came undone and she crouched upright. Reaching towards Merlin, both she and Gwen sighed in relief when he groaned. “Are you alright?”

“Fine.” His voice was faint, but Arthur didn’t look too worried as he searched the car for a weapon.

Satisfied for the moment, Morgana turned to help Gwen down. Gwen held onto the seatbelt as Morgana unbuckled and caught her;  helping Gwen get her footing. ‘’Oh--” Gwen whispered, realizing she was standing on something. She picked up the gun and checked to see if it was damaged--it wasn’t. “Help me up.” She nodded towards the shattered window just above their heads and Morgana supported her silently as she climbed up using the headrests. Gwen pulled herself half out of the top of the car and looked around for signs of the zombie--whatever they had been--deer or dogs, she didn’t know.

Nothing.

She dropped back down in time to see Arthur kick out the rest of the windshield so they could climb out. “Grab the supplies, we can’t stay here.”

Merlin, who was out of his seat but looking faint and dizzy, followed him out of the car as Morgana and Gwen grabbed their packs. “We should go back.” Merlin’s voice shook so Gwen grabbed his hand and squeezed it in support. He glanced to her, a tiny grateful smile on his split lip.

“We’re twenty minutes from Ealdor.”

“More than that on foot and we’re unprotected,” he protested.

“We only lost one gun and we’re minutes away from Ealdor. At the rate we’d be able to go we’re home is probably days away.” Morgana’s voice was soft and gentle, knowing Merlin was just shaken up and he didn’t actually mean what he was saying.

Arthur grabbed Merlin’s other hand and kissed his forehead, “We’re going to be fine.”

Famous last words.

Gwen didn’t see them at first. First, all she was aware of was Arthur pushing Merlin and her forward towards Morgana and a great, terrible screech that wasn’t human.

She spun around to see Arthur firing shots into the approaching zombies--man and beast alike--they were emerging from the forest everywhere.

Morgana swore and fired her gun, picking off the zombie of a young boy. She stepped closer to Gwen and Merlin when Arthur screamed. They all turned to look at him and--

_Arthur--_

Merlin raced forward but Gwen grabbed his arm and kept him back--one of the dogs had lept and bit him in the forearm--

All four of them stood still for a heartbeat--they all knew _exactly_ what happened once you were infected--and then Arthur screamed for them to run.

It took the combined effort of both Gwen and Morgana to pull Merlin back and away. “I’ll find it!” Merlin screamed, his voice hoarse and raw. “I’ll find the cure!” Arthur’s body dropped and convulsed on the ground, eyes rolled back into this head. “I’ll find it…”

Gwen lifted her gun and picked off a couple of the approaching zombies but it wasn’t enough--

They stood with their backs together, but there was no way--there were too many of them--they wouldn’t be able to--

Merlin said something she couldn’t make out and then the hoard of zombies flew back away from them.

“What. The. Shit.” Morgana blurted out, turning towards Merlin, whose eyes glowed gold.

“I have magic.” Merlin said softly, “I’ve always had it. I was born with it.”

“What the _shit_.” Morgana whispered again but Gwen gave her a push as she grabbed Merlin’s wrist and led them all away from the swarm before it recovered. If it could recover; she didn’t know what Merlin had done to them. Gwen found Morgana’s arm and she dragged the both of them sprinting through the woods.

They ran for several long minutes until Morgana’s tears forced them to stop. She tried to pull herself together but then she screamed and slammed her fist into a tree. It shattered away from her and all she did was collapse onto the ground, terrible sobs ripped from her body. Next to Gwen, Merlin shook.

“Did you know she had magic too?” Gwen asked, surprised at how calm her voice was.

Merlin shook his head, then paused, and nodded. “I thought she might...but I never said anything.”

“Magic. Zombies.” Gwen began but then she shrugged and sat down, whatever else she was going to say got lost in the deafening absence of Arthur.

“I should have saved him, I could have stopped it. I did it so many times before--I should have--”

“It happened too fast.” Gwen whispered, “It happened too fast.”

Merlin shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut and didn’t speak.

They only stopped long enough for them to catch their breaths and then they entered Ealdor. Gwen remembered it as a second home, through summer holidays and swimming in the ocean.

Now it was still and grey. The sun beat down on them and Merlin walked to the tiny library without seeing. Morgana breathed deep and steady in an attempt to calm herself down and Gwen kept her gun out. She wouldn’t let anything happen to her friends. Anything _else_ happen.

They reached the library without incident and Merlin walked up and banged right on the front door, “Mum!” he called. Gwen turned away from the library and scanned the street. It was empty but the woods had been too.

“Merlin, you fecking wanker!” a man called jovially, and when she glanced around her, Gwen saw Merlin’s mate Will hanging half out the attic window. One look at them, however, and his smile slipped. “Bloody hell, what are you lot doing here? Hold on a second I’ll send down a ladder, we’ve got the downstairs barricaded shut.”

He disappeared and they could faintly hear him shouting their arrival. A rope ladder was thrown down a moment later and Morgana wasted no time in pushing Gwen up it. She climbed into the window and was welcomed with a great hug and kisses on the cheeks from Will. “Gwen! You lot came all the way from London for us!”

“Where’s Hunith?” she said, needing to get to her before Merlin so she could explain.

“Downstairs. What happened?”

Gwen glanced to the window, where the ladder was moving as Merlin climbed up, “We’ve just lost Arthur.”

“Shite.”

Gwen didn’t wait for another response, she made a beeline towards the attic steps and headed down. Hunith was waiting for her with a pale face and a tight hug. “What is it? Why are you here?”

“We’re in a military base. We’ve come to bring you back with us.”

She put a hand over her mouth and gently Gwen whispered that Arthur had just been turned in front of them. Tears welled up in Hunith’s eyes and she hugged her tightly again.

Other than Hunith and Will, there was an elderly woman and two little girls who couldn’t have been more than five and seven.

The younger one came over to her with a water bottle and a tin of butter biscuits, “Thank you.” Gwen smiled, taking a sip of the water. It didn’t make things feel any more real.

“We’re leaving?” the girl asked, sitting down in a chair and pat the one next to her. Gwen sank into it and her feet throbbed. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes but there wasn’t time for that, not yet.

“That’s the plan.” She met the girls’ eyes and then the elderly woman. “We lost our car but as soon as we find another one, or come up with another plan. We’re going to get out of here.”

They all smiled at her and then the others joined them.

That night, Gwen awoke to the sound of rain. She glanced to the blankets next to her and sighed, Morgana was gone. Pushing herself up, she glanced around the room until she saw her sitting across the room from everyone. There was a small fire in front of her and--given the fact she couldn’t smell smoke--maybe it was magic?

She pushed herself up and glanced to Merlin. He looked peaceful in sleep, sharing a blanket with his mother. She crept across the room and then sat next to her friend who ignored her.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

Morgana shook her head, her eyes shining. Now that they were closer, Gwen could see that the fire was indeed magic, it was tiny dragons flying around her fingers.

“You used to be shit at secrets.”

Morgana glanced down to her hands and then sent one over to Gwen. She held out her hand and it landed gently on her palm. It was warm and fluttery.

“That was the first time I did something like that.” she confessed, “sometimes I have dreams you know, that are scarily accurate but...tonight was the first time I did something like that. And this--”

She let the flames dance high above her head and then swoop back down. By the flickering light, Morgana looked exhausted. She rubbed her eyes, “You did this after realizing you could for only a couple hours?”

“I haven’t slept yet. I can’t sleep. I keep seeing his face. I should have done something. What’s the point of this magic if I couldn’t use it to save him?”

Gwen hugged her and didn’t say anything else besides, “We’ll survive this.”

“I don’t want to.” Her voice was small and the fires flickered as if a breeze swept through the building.

“Me either. But we will.”

Morgana sighed and the dragons turned into birds that soared above their heads, “We will.”

They stayed in Ealdor for three days which meant that they were officially late in coming home and everyone would be in a panic. There wasn’t anything they could do back home, save send out a second rescue party. Gwen prayed they wouldn’t but she knew her brother and the others would have to be physically held back. The radio no longer worked and nothing they could do--magical or otherwise--had any effect on it. The thought of the others chasing after them spurred them all into preparing to leave.

Everyone except Merlin who was obsessed with finding a cure. He had one thought and that was to save Arthur. To bring him back. Thankfully, he wasn’t out searching for him, the last thing they needed was their zombified friend moaning and groaning for their brains in the corner when they tried to sleep.

Gwen and Morgana took turns searching the streets of Ealdor for some kind of working vehicle. By now most of the cars had been broken into and had their petrol syphoned for fuel. Near evening on the third day, Gwen and Will found a minivan that remarkably looked untouched. Will said it was because the the old man who owned it was a fucking maniac and his zombified corpse was probably guarding it.

“Merls is really fucked up.” Will said softly as he jimmied the car door open.

“His boyfriend was with him one second and then gone the next.”

“Remember when he was your boyfriend, G?”

Gwen smiled and leaned against the car to keep lookout, if she tried, she could almost pretend they were just stealing a car. “We were kids.”

The car roared to life and her heart leapt when she saw that it had a full tank.

“Thanks, Mr. Boswell.” Will muttered and Gwen ran around the minivan to sit shotgun. As Will drove away, she glanced into the back. It would sort of be a tight fit but they’d all be able to make it back home together.

Car obtained, and bags packed (Elizabeth and Anna Marie, the two little girls, stuffed all seven Harry Potter books under the seats), they just had to decide when they were going to leave. Will wanted to leave immediately but Morgana wasn’t going to drive during the night. Merlin didn’t say anything and the rest of the women looked to Gwen.

She sighed, “We’re leaving in the morning.” Zombies had driven them off the road during the day, they’d stand no chance at night.

And that was that.

Now her only problem was Merlin. He was beside himself with grief and he was hiding it in research. His bag consisted of mostly notes and diagrams now.

“Merlin, please come to bed. You have to get some sleep, we’re leaving in the morning.”

He turned, his face wretched, “I _have_ to find the cure. Arthur is out there-- _somewhere--_ and he--” His voice broke and he ran his hands through his hair, trying to calm himself down. He had been on a knife’s edge ever since the attack and it broke Gwen’s heart that there was absolutely nothing she could do to make things right.

“The answer isn’t going to come to you if you work yourself to the bone, come on, just a couple hours of sleep so you can concentrate again.”

“I can’t.” Merlin whispered, turning back to his papers, “I can’t.”

“You have to.” Gwen gently shuffled his pages together and shut his folder. She put it in his bag and then helped him up. “Come on, just a couple hours of sleep and then you’ll be right back at it the entire car ride back home.”

Merlin didn’t say anything but he let Gwen guide him to bed. She wrapped a blanket around both of them and held him, half in comfort, half to make sure he didn’t sneak back to work.

 

* * *

 

They made it home in just under five disgustingly peaceful hours and they were greeting by Elyan and Lance running towards the car with such abandon, Morgana nearly ran them over.

“We thought you were--” Lance sighed, hugging Gwen tightly. She shook her head against his chest, suddenly overwhelmed, not ready for the question that she knew was coming. It was inevitable.

Elyan glanced into the back and opened the door for Hunith, who hugged him tightly. “I’m glad you’re alright. And you’ve brought company.”

He knelt down to introduce himself to the two girls, but Gwen started crying as she hugged Lance tighter. He was still beneath her and she didn’t know if it was because she was crying or if he noticed they were a person short. It was all too much for her suddenly and she could do nothing but cling. Behind her, Elyan glanced up from the girls. The car was empty now and he had noticed someone was missing.

“Where’s Arthur?” His voice was curious, like he thought Arthur was driving another car behind them or he had somehow missed him.

“Dead.” Merlin said darkly, slipping away from the car and stalking off. He was headed in the direction of the infirmary though, so Gwen didn’t think he had given up on him yet. Elyan shot to his feet and Lance tightened his grip around Gwen.

“He’s been like that all day.” Morgana whispered, “Arthur was turned and Merlin thinks that he can find a cure but...he’s been back and forth between saying he’s going to get Arthur back and him being gone forever all day.”

“Christ, Morgana.”

“He’s going to tear the world apart trying to get him back.”

“Better him than the zombies.” Lance said quietly as Elyan took Gwen from him and hugged her tightly.

Morgana’s eyes filled with tears and she shook her head, “Come on, we should get the others settled. Who knows when the last time they actually slept was.”

 

* * *

 

Arthur’s death swept through the community like a disease. Gwaine ran down the corridor to Gwen and he had hugged her silently when he found out, his face pale.. She had cried, of course she cried. She had been crying nonstop since they got back home without him.

Through her tears, she pushed on. There was still so much to do. They had to prepare for winter, they had to make sure they had enough water, food, to last them. They had to keep their weapons sharp, the ammunition supplies under constant survey. She lost herself to a million different things that had to be done. Check the pipes, check the roof, check the fence, check the surrounding buildings, make sure nothing could get in though a first story window.

She kept expecting to hear his voice, she _did_ hear his voice echoing through her mind whenever it was quiet. _Guinevere_. She couldn’t sleep at night. She and Morgana lay next to each other, sometimes whispering, usually just staring at the wall or out the window or at the ceiling.

Elyan, ever the artist, started drawing on the walls. Flowers and castles and smiles. He drew the ballroom scene from Beauty and the Beast in the canteen. He risked his life for paints and paintbrushes. Elizabeth and Anna Marie in particular were his helpers.

Gwen pushed on. They did what they could for Merlin but his eyes were dark and his skin was grey. On more than one occasion, Gwaine had confessed he had thought he was a zombie. In a way he was, he wasn’t recovering from losing Arthur so suddenly and completely. He was searching for an answer that didn’t exist.

A cure.

What a fairy tale.

 

* * *

 

It was two long months later that Gwaine strolled into the canteen when everyone was eating breakfast and announced to the room at large that he was going to meet up with Eira.

Elyan put his spoon down and said, “What? Like for the world’s most dangerous quick shag or, like, what?”

Gwaine rolled his eyes, “No, she’s going to move in.”

“You’re going to Bramcote?”

“Don’t be daft, she’s already on her way. That’s why I said I’m _meeting_ her.”

And so that’s how Gwen found herself patrolling the streets of Oxford with her old Uni flatmate. Eira was almost too cheerful with her blond hair piled atop her head in a messy bun, machine gun strapped across her back.

They planned to stay about a week, a vacation of sorts. Gwen, Morgana and Perce had either drawn the short end of the stick or a winning prize, she wasn’t sure yet, but the three of them went with Gwaine to Oxford. Last night there had been a fire by the river and now the two women were patrolling for zombies. Their state of mind was to hunt them down and kill them before they had the chance to infect anyone else; that was the reason Merlin hadn’t come, he wasn’t for killing them. He still believed there was a cure with a heartbreaking desperation.

They neared the charred remains of the row of buildings. One had been a Starbucks, the way the sign lay charred on the ground looked a bit like some pretentious art student’s thesis. Something rustled in the ashes and Eira froze. She glanced to Gwen and all she could see was the terrified girl from fresher’s week.

She lifted the small pistol Elyan had given her and walked towards the building and in front of her friend, “Is anyone there?

“Don’t shoot.”

“Oh--” Gwen gasped--there was a kid in the building. “Hey--are you alright?”

They couldn’t have been more than thirteen; and even then that was being generous. They climbed out from the ashes, his face was covered in soot and his hands were shaking. “I lived here but--there was an attack and…”

“What’s your name?” Eira asked gently.

He glanced around them, as if distrustful of the very buildings around them, “Mordred. I’m the only one here. I’m the only one left.”

Gwen sighed and bit her lip before mustering up the kindest smile she could, “You’re not alone anymore, come on, I’ll take you to the others.

Mordred and Morgana got along like they had been separated at birth despite the ten years between them. The child had magic as well, had known about it for years and he and Morgana would hide away from the others and together they would reheat tea, see who could mimic a Harry Potter spell, make dragons fly. At the end of the week when they left, Mordred came with them. It hadn’t even been questioned.

Merlin had laughed when they rolled up and Gwaine announced that Morgana had adopted a kid.  She told Mordred about Merlin’s magic immediately and it was obvious from the start the child looked up to him. He and Mordred got along shakily.  Mordred could use his magic to create light shows that Merlin either quenched or encouraged depending on his mood. Mordred brought him tea when he was working late and Morgana used to pretend that she was heartbroken that Mordred liked him more. It was a lie, of course, Mordred looked to Morgana like she was his world. Sometimes Mordred would get mad at Merlin for days at a time for reasons the others could only guess at.

Gwen sat with Merlin several days later, sipping tea as Merlin poured over books. She needed him to know he wasn’t alone and if her silent presence could help, then she’d sit with him forever. She was falling asleep in her chair, she had been up before the sun and now, with it growing dark around them, she was crashing.

There was a shadow at the door and Gwen shot awake, she was hyper vigilant, paranoid of every trick of the eye and shadow. Merlin flinched and looked up, “Mordred.” His voice was warm, good, it was going to be a good day.

“It’s getting dark.” Mordred said quietly, not moving an inch. “Can you see?”

Merlin went to open his mouth to reply but Mordred seemed to decide for him. He came in with a little bag on his shoulder and then whispered a spell that created an orb of light floating in the air above them. “Thank you.” Merlin smiled and Mordred nodded.

That done, he turned to Gwen, “Do you want to color with me?” He reached into his bag and pulled out some crayons and a thick adult coloring book.

Gwen lightly tapped the table in front of her and he came to sit next to her. They colored in silence until his light started to dim and he leaned heavily against Gwen’s side, fast asleep.

Merlin whispered the same spell himself but Gwen put her hand over his. “We should sleep. Don’t use up all your energy on magic when we can just get up with the sun and start again.”

“Each day is another day he’s out there.”

“I know. But he’s Arthur. He’s stubborn. He waited for you in Uni.”

“ _I_ waited for _him_.” Merlin’s smile was sad, his eyes distant.

“We should get some sleep. Come on.” She stood and then scooped Mordred up. For a moment it looked like Merlin was going to ignore her, that he was going to sit there until he fell asleep as well, but then he pushed himself to his feet.

“Okay.”

Gwen walked him to the room he was sharing with Leon and Lance and then she took Mordred to hers and Morgana’s room. They had rearranged it to fit in another bed.

Morgana looked up from where she was trying to fix a lightbulb. “I think I might be able to make it work with magic.”

“With three of you, we might be able to re-enter the twenty first century.”

Morgana smiled and her eyes glowed gold as Gwen tucked Mordred into bed. She couldn’t see anything about the lightbulb change, but Morgana was smiling so something must have been going right.

With Eira and Mordred, things started to feel lighter. It started to feel like they could breathe and that they could look forward to things. Mordred’s birthday. Christmas.

 

* * *

 

Three months later, they lost Merlin.

“Where is he?” Morgana screamed and Gwen shot another bullet into another zombie’s head. She couldn’t voice-- _anything_. Merlin had been fighting several yards away from them but he was just--gone. When she scanned the ground there was no sign of his body, not even blood.

She couldn’t accept that he was gone--just like that--just like with Arthur.

Fuck, they shouldn’t have even been out here. In the early hours of the morning a distress call came over the radio and, seeing as Merlin and Gwen had been the ones to hear it, they had been first to volunteer to go out--they didn’t want to waste time.

They should have waited for backup.

“Why are there so many?” Morgana screamed in frustration. Gwen knew the answer--the ones they had come to help were now attacking them but what good would vocalizing it do. Morgana screamed again and Gwen could feel the panic rolling off her in waves, not for her own safety but for Merlin.

He was silent.

Her feat that he may stumble towards her at any second was almost a physical thing in her throat.

A engine sounded in the distance and the two women glanced to each other--help was on the way. Gwen turned and severed the head off a man missing both his arms and felt a kind of detached impressment at how clean it had been. As the car got nearer, Morgana came to stand close to her and they both knew Gwaine was driving when he straight up bulldozed his way through the last few zombies. He gave them a thumbs up and then carefully back up so they could dispose of the bodies correctly. The last thing they needed was a resurgence. How fucked up was it that they didn’t even have to think about what they were doing anymore? On autopilot, they dragged the bodies into a pile. On autopilot, they searched the carnage for their friend. 

Elyan hopped out of the passenger seat, “Where’s Merlin? With the others?”

“There are no others.” Morgana said and Gwen felt a surge of gratitude towards her--she couldn’t trust herself to speak. Her voice was as gone as Merlin’s.

“So where is he?”

Gwen walked towards the last place she had seen him and she readied herself for her world to shatter at her feet. She knew the sight of him would destroy her but if he had been turned...she wouldn’t let him become the thing that had taken Arthur away from them.

She looked to the spot, saw the blond haired woman’s body--the zombie that had been on top of him--but there was no Merlin. “He’s not here.” Her voice was detached and sounded like an echo. “He’s not here.”

“What?” Gwaine gasped, but Gwen didn’t hear him. Morgana explained to them what had happened, how they had gotten separated but--he wasn’t here. She didn’t know what it meant. He wasn’t here.

“Did you see him?” she asked blankly, standing where he had stood. Morgana shook her head. “Merlin!” Gwen called, but she couldn’t bring herself to hope. “Merlin!” She tore through the clearing and into the woods, “Merlin, please!”

Elyan came up behind her, “If he was bit…” he said gently.

“No.” Gwen looked to the sky and tried to blink the tears away, “Merlin--I love you. We love you. Please don’t hide.” She searched through the woods as Elyan watched her and then, unable to hold back the tears, she went back to her brother. He hugged her tightly. “We can’t lose him too,” she sobbed; but it was too late, what happened happened. She could do nothing to change it.

After she cried herself to exhaustion, she and her brother helped the others dispose of the bodies. They finished gathering them up and then Morgana lit them on fire with a whisper. Ashes couldn’t bite your face off.

As they headed back to the car, Gwen stopped, unable to take a single step more, “I can’t leave.”

“Gwen,” Gwaine had tears in his eyes and she could see Morgana shaking from where she stood. “I can’t. What if he’s hurt, what if he’s dying. I can’t leave him.” She turned on her heels and went back into woods. She wouldn’t rest until she found her friend.

She tore through the woods until the remains of the attack were smouldering ashes under the high noon sky. She searched through the underbrush, searched a cave, looked everywhere. She circled the spot they had been attacked, searched nearby houses and backyards but she had come up with nothing. Eventually, her brother found her standing in a deserted kitchen.  Elyan gently but urgently guided her back to the car. Morgana sat in the driver’s seat with her hand over her mouth, lost in thought. Gwaine’s eyes shone with tears.

When Morgana started the engine, Gwen shut her eyes. All she could see was Merlin laughing, riding on Perce’s shoulders. Merlin kissing Arthur’s cheek, making him blush. They’d have to tell the others. They’d have to tell Hunith and Will, Gaius and Lance. She had never before felt that crushingly tired.

The next morning Gwen stood before the camp. Word of Merlin’s fate spread quickly--everyone loved him. It wasn’t a funeral, although Gwaine was crying--still crying--Eira had told her quietly that he had been up most of the night, completely inconsolable. Gwen had laid down and immediately given into exhaustion. 

It wasn’t a funeral because, she couldn’t believe he was dead. She hadn’t planned on saying anything until she had seen Lance’s exhausted face walk into the room to get breakfast. Gwen had stood up, climbed onto the bench between Will, still shaking, and Morgana, who wouldn’t let go of Mordred’s hand, and addressed the room.

“No more,” she almost didn’t recognize her own voice. She felt weak and helpless but her voice was strong, “We lose no one else. We win this war for them. For Uther and Arthur, Brandon and Julie and Chad. Everyone who’s been taken from us.” She scanned the crowd and saw the missing faces in the eyes watching her. Too many had been killed. The cause and the reason for the virus didn’t matter. It had gone on long enough. It had to end now. “We cure the world for Merlin and we lose no one else.”

She climbed back down and Will leaned against her in silent support. Bedivere cheered loudly in agreement. Gwen ate her breakfast quickly, not tasting anything, but ready to get on with the day.

She and Morgana sat with Hunith and Gaius for the rest of the day with others coming and going and from that morning on, neither woman was ever far from either of them. They were a poor replacement for Merlin, but they wouldn’t lose any more than the world tore away from them.

 

* * *

 

Time sort of lost it’s meaning when you were just surviving. Gwen couldn’t look at Merlin’s notes for weeks after he vanished. Vanished instead of dead. _Dead_. Merlin was dead. He couldn’t have survived. He would have come back home.

On a sunny day in May, Eira died.

Gwen awoke from an afternoon nap--unintentional, but when had been the last time sleep had been anything but?--to Gwaine screaming and cursing. She raced out to him, to where Lance and Leon were trying to console him and she had held him close until his voice went out, and he could do nothing but exist in the new, horrifyingly vicious world.

Gwen didn’t know how to process it. Eira had been so vivacious, angry and ready to take on the world. She had woken from a nap and Eira was gone. How was she supposed to live with that?

It wasn’t until a few days later that she even found out what happened. An ambush when they were gathering supplies. She had fallen from a second story window trying to fight off a monster.

Just like Merlin, just like Arthur, she had vanished in an instant.

People died, a baby was born, time crept on and on without stop. Everyone was scrambling to make do, to find a place to stand that wouldn’t shatter beneath their feet.

Gwen sat in the Communications office, updating the list of names. They still searched for missing family members, they still traded lists of who was surviving where. She began to become friends with people from the other camps, trading jokes along with pleas for something different. Elena promised to send cupcakes for Gwen’s birthday and then the pair laughed about how secretarial it felt. Secretaries in a world where she had to tell mothers their babies were dead over a crackling radio.

Lance and Hunith sat with her. Lance trying to get a rusty generator to work, Hunith knitting a baby blanket.

She leaned back as Will came in with coffee for everyone. Coffee was easy. They had so much coffee. They all drank so much coffee. Coffee and tea to try to ignore the fact they had to boil the water in fear of the virus spreading.

There was a commotion at the gate and Gwen dropped her mug with a thud, hot coffee splattered across the table and onto her legs unnoticed. Racing towards the gate, she prayed that no one was hurt, that no one had been killed, that she wasn’t about to lose her brother or any more of her friends.

Kay stood completely drenched in blood and Gwen steeled herself. “Are you hurt?”

He shook his head, running his hand through his hair, slicking it back. “I lost the others though. They were behind me but I lost them.”

Gwen looked at him as she remembered who had gone with him, Elyan, Gwaine, and Perce. Oh god, please no. She put a hand on his arm,  “Get cleaned up, we’ll send out a search party.”

 

* * *

 

 

The search party came back alone.

 

* * *

 

The barracks were filled with tired faces and completely empty. Gwen passed people whose names and stories she knew with a smile as she helped keep their tiny community running. She couldn’t go out in the field, ever since they had lost Merlin, she had been completely useless. Her aim was always wildly off, the slightest rustle in the trees had her overcome by panic. But there were other things, there were _so many_ other things. She spent her days rushing around, cooking and cleaning and stitching wounds. She helped maintain the perimeter fence and spent hours on the radio and over maps, looking for places they could find supplies and survivors. They built up relations with other communities that had dug out life for themselves in the midst of all the death.

It was a morning in early June, weeks after her brother, Gwaine and Perce had gone on a supply run and vanished, and Gwen headed towards the garden. It took up the majority of the eastern side of the compound and they grew whatever they could. Tending to the plants calmed her, it gave her something to build instead of scavenge.

Morgana knelt down next to her, completely amazed by the tiny plants. “How did you do this? You basically planned the whole garden on your own.”

Gwen titled her head and smiled, “Merlin taught me.”

“Did he?” Morgana smiled, “Between chasing after Arthur and the others, researching his ass off and making sure none of us got killed, he managed to teach you how to garden?”

“He was non-stop.”

She sighed, “He’d be proud of you.”

“You too. He’d be proud of the both of us. They both would be.”

“He was wrong you know.” Morgana said after a long breath of silence, her voice quiet, “There is no cure.”

The dirt beneath her fingers was damp, the plants were starting to flower. “No.” she agreed quietly, remembering Merlin picking mint leaves to make tea, “There’s no cure.”

Flowers bloomed all around them, there were flowers everywhere in attempts to combat the stench of a dying world.

“Do you want to replant some flowers into the new pots we found? I want to put some in our room and we can keep putting them around the base. They brighten the place up and also--”

“Cut the smell of blood.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

Morgana smiled and then nodded, “Yeah, come on. Let’s find Mordred, it’s been a few hours, he’s probably in some kind of trouble.”

Gwen smiled, “He’s a good kid.”

“A good kid with a knack for knowing precisely where he shouldn’t be.” She brushed the dirt off her clothes, “Do you want to cut some flowers too?”

Gwen shook her head, “I want them to live as long as they can. I want them to bloom and then keep blooming. “

Morgana smiled and rolled her eyes, “Okay, let’s go find that little magician and then get started.”

They found Mordred asleep beneath a hydrangea plant long after they had given up looking for him. Once awake, however, he was more than excited to help dig up plants and then deliver them to different parts of the compounds.

“We’re going to have absolutely no idea where he’s putting them all.”

“I’m sure we can find them, he can only reach so high.”

Gwen gently pat the soil down around the plant she was repotting, the feel of the earth against her fingers was calming and, although the absence of Arthur and Merlin, or Elyan, Eira, Gwaine and Perce was jarring, she was surviving.

 

* * *

 

As time went on they became reckless in their vengeance. The only way they could see peace was by destroying the zombies before they got to them. So they doubled up on patrols and tripled up on training. Before all of this they had lived peaceful lives. Now Gwen could kill someone ten different ways without having to think about it.

She was detached from herself, from who she was before. The girl who laughed with Arthur and Merlin had died with them. She had transformed into someone else.

Bedivere was killed in July.

Gwen was back in the field in August. She couldn’t sit back and watch as her friends left, never to return. If killing was the cure, then she’d cure the world for everyone who couldn’t.

She trained for so long that it cancelled out the way her hands shook when she thought about her missing friends. She didn’t hesitate, her shot hit true. It didn’t matter if they looked like the girl who had sat up with her during finals week. It didn’t matter if he had the same eyes as the boy who moved out of Camelot and who existed only in fuzzy summer memories.

Summer was the hardest. The heat enveloped them in unyielding pressure, they had a million things to do before sundown.

In September, with the last of summer’s sun beating down on them, she, Leon and Kay went out looking for blood. In a way, they were exactly the same as the evil they were trying to erase. She could sometimes feel Merlin’s disapproval, his heartbreak.

He had been so sure that there had been a way to save those infected.

Gwen pushed the thought of Merlin out of her head when they were ambushed. Three men and two woman jumped out from behind a dumpster and Leon’s face went into the concrete with a dull thud. Gwen and Kay didn’t hesitate to shoot two of them. They dropped to the ground with a sickening finality.

“Give us your weapons,” one of the men said. He had salt and pepper hair, and crystal clear blue eyes.

“What the fuck are you doing!” Kay demanded, holding firm as Gwen hesitated at the sound of the man's voice.

“Surviving. Give us your weapons.”

Leon groaned from the ground and Kay fired a warning shot into the man’s leg. He cried out in pain and dropped. The two women flanked him.

“Give us your weapons and we won’t kill you.”

“Leave and _we_ won’t kill _you_.” Kay’s words were steady but Gwen’s heart was racing over the fact she was holding a gun up towards these women. They were human. They weren’t the enemy. Human. Not zombies. “Go,” Kay said again sharply, his finger on the trigger.

The two women hesitated, one of them glanced to Gwen so she swallowed the nauseous feeling and took her gun off safety. The small click prompted the two women to grab the man and retreat down the road.

“Jesus Fuck,” Kay swore, looking around and Gwen fully expected another ambush.

Instead of dwelling on it, she went over to Leon and helped him sit up. His face was bloodied and already starting to bruise and swell.

“What t’ fuck happened?” he slurred, trying to blink and squinting around even though it looked painful.

“We were almost mugged.”

“Mugged.” Kay scoffed.

Leon made a sound that resembled a half aborted laugh, “Mugged? _Mugged?_ ”

“Yes. Hush. What happened to your eye--does it hurt?”

“I think something’s covering it and I--honestly--if my face is sliced and hanging--”

“It’s not.” Gwe spoke quickly because he was starting to get pale. Her own stomach lurched at the horrible image he had given her.  Kay stepped closer and she knelt in front of him, holding her phone up with the flashlight on, “Can you see anything?”

“No.” Leon whispered and Gwen nodded, she forced a smile on her face for his sake. She’d be strong for him.

“It’s okay, come on. Let’s get you home.”

“Gwen--I can’t see--”

“It’s alright. You take the right side, I’ll cover the left. We can do this. We’ve been through worse before.”

“Have we?”

“We lost Arthur and Merlin. We lost Gwaine, Perce and Elyan. We lost Eira and Bedivere.” She grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly, “We’re getting home. I’ll settle for nothing less.”

Kay wiped at the beads of sweat on his forehead. He didn’t look at the bodies on the ground. He had checked for pulse but hadn’t done anything else which meant they were dead.

She had killed someone.

The two of them helped Leon to his feet and the three walked back to the car. If the other group of survivors had come from the other direction then they could have just stolen the car and half of them wouldn’t be fucking dead right now. But fortunately for them, they stuffed Leon into the back seat with Kay to hold a bandage to his face and Gwen drove them back home.

Kay tried to calm Leon down by saying that maybe the vision loss wasn’t permanent, maybe everything would heal. It only made Leon panic more.

They pulled into the fort and whisked Leon off to the infirmary. Gaius frowned when he saw him and shook his head when Gwen raised her eyebrows inquisitively. With the basic equipment, the only way he’d get his sight back was if it healed on his own. Which was possible, but doubtful with the way he had injured his face. He had only been thrown into the concrete--it shouldn’t be so bad.

Gwen left when he was put into a cot for evaluation. He probably had a concussion as well, and if he lost sight there might be some brain swelling. It had happened so fast. Everything always happened so fast. She sat on her bed, covered her face in her hands, and tried to breathe.

She had killed someone. She had reacted on gut instinct and shot them. There hadn’t been a hesitation or revaluation of the situation--she had thought zombie and she had fired.

They hadn’t been a zombie, they had been a living breathing person just like her trying to survive. She wiped her eyes but tears started falling. She was tired of losing everyone. She was tired of Arthur and Merlin being dead. She missed Eira. She missed Bedivere. She was tired of the way her parents hugged her tightly, she was the only one they had left. Hunith had only her and Will, the last of the brood of kids who used to eat grilled cheese on her front porch in the summer.

There was a soft knock on the door and she lowered her hands so that they rested on her lips. Hunith stood in the door, two mugs in her hands.

“I thought you might be needing this.”

Gwen smiled tiredly and pat the space on her bed next to her. Hunith gently sat next to her and handed over the mug of hot cocoa. It smelled like bonfires and crying over skinned knees.

“Gaius told me what happened out there.”

“They weren’t infected,” she told the mug. There were even little marshmallows floating on the surface. They spun around in lazy circles. Once she and Arthur had gotten drunk and eaten a whole container of them. Neither of them could eat them for years afterwards.

“They attacked you. Just because they weren’t infected doesn’t mean they wouldn’t have hurt you. Look how vicious they were with Leon.”

“Has anything changed?”

Hunith shook her head, “He has a concussion and still can’t see, but he hasn’t worsened.”

“Good. We’ve lost too many.”

“No more,” Hunith said quietly, repeating what Gwen had said the morning after Merlin’s death.

“No more,” She agreed, “God, please, no more. I can’t take any more.”

“Your parents are worried sick over you. I am as well. All of you are getting reckless.”

“We’re fighting back.”

Hunith sighed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Gwen leaned into her friend’s mother. “When we say no more we mean you too. You can’t eradicate the zombie infection on your own.”

She took a sip of hot cocoa, “I can try.”

“ _Guinevere_.”

“We’ll change how we do things. We’ll try to triangulate with other shelters but...it moves so fast. One of the shelters in Oxford was completely infected. But…”

“No more.”

Gwen nodded, “No more.”

The two women talked for a few hours more until weariness overtook Gwen and she decided to call it a night.

 

* * *

 

Gwen shot awake and at first she thought it was because of a nightmare. Then she heard the shouting. 

Her heart plummeted--what had happened now--but then there was a laugh and--

She threw her blankets off and scrambled out of bed. She didn’t bother with getting dressed, she raced out into the hall in one of Arthur’s old shirts and yoga shorts. She didn’t think she’d ever hear that laugh again--

She burst out the doors and ran across the grass to the gates that were lit up by several torches. She searched for the source of the loud boisterous laugh but then--

“Gwen!” Elyan gasped and she threw herself into her brother’s arms. Squeezing him tightly, she didn’t care one bit that she was openingly sobbing--her brother was alive, he was safe, he was in her arms.

“Gwen!” Gwaine called from directly next to them and she hugged him as well. He was half supported by Percival and she couldn’t believe that the three of them were safe--that all three of them were alive.

Perce lifted her up in a tight hug when her brother and Gwaine relinquished their hold on her and when her feet touched the ground again, she finally got control of her tears. She wiped at her eyes and looked them over.

They were covered in dirt but remarkably in one--

Gwaine’s leg was gone.

“What happened? Is your leg infected? How did you lose it?”

“I’m fine it’s only a little--” he began but she glared and pointed to the infirmary.

“Now,” she demanded and then felt his forehead. It didn’t feel like he had a fever but who knew what kind of dirt and grime was in it--and if he had come in contact with infected blood--well, she couldn’t even think of that. They’d put all three of them in protective infirmary rooms until the quarantine was up because that’s what they had to do. It was protocol, not because they could be infected. “I’ll check in on you in a bit,” she told them and then walked away. She couldn’t see them locked up in those rooms. She had witnessed too many innocent people lose themselves. She had woken up from too many nightmares of her brother turning into monsters in those rooms, she couldn’t see them in there for real.

They’d be fine and she’d check in on them later.

Gwen first went to check on the garden and helped James and Liza gather some tomatoes for breakfast, then she went for a walk around the compound, just so that she could move.

Kay met her halfway, grinning. “You saw them, then?”

“Twenty four hours until we know they’re safe.”

He smiled but then the smile slipped, “I’m sorry. For coming back without them.”

Gwen shook her head and then took his arm, forcing him to walk with her, “No, it’s not your fault. I’ll tell you a thousand times, you did everything you could. You got seperated. If you hadn’t come back then you’d be dead and then where would we all be?”

Kay shook his head, “The amount of times you’ve said that to me.”

“Start believing it then so I can stop.”

He sighed, his red hair was piled on a bun atop his head and he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Come on, kid, let’s get breakfast.”

Morgana sat next to her at the table after Kay had left and she was sipping on a coffee, knocking elbows, “When did you get up?”

“A couple hours ago.”

“Oh, Gwen. What’s wrong? Nightmares?”

Gwen stood, picking her mug up with one hand and grabbing Morgana with the other, “No, come on. I’ll show you.”

When they reached the infirmary, Morgana screamed. Elyan jolted away from where he was napping in the middle of his makeshift cell but Gwaine just raised an eyebrow, completely unimpressed by her reaction.

“Hey, Morgana.” Perce called and Gwen smiled at the sound of his voice. He was tired and half sprawled on the floor but he was alive. _For now_ , the tiny voice in the back of her mind said and she was too tired to even try to fight it.

“I-- _never_ thought I’d see any of you alive again.” Morgana’s voice was shaky but her eyes were lit up and flecked with gold. Gwen glanced around the room to see if there was anything flammable. Of all the habits anyone had picked up while they were here, Morgana’s pyromantic tendencies were the worst.

“I’m glad we defied all your expectations and survived,” Gwaine said dryly and Morgana rolled her eyes.

“It’s been weeks. Forgive me for assuming the worst.”

“Still could be the worst.” Gwaine shrugged, indicating the cells they were all in and Gwen turned and marched straight out of the room.

“Oh no--Gwen--sorry!” he called after her but she didn’t stop.

Lance bumped into the hallway, a wide smile on his face, “I heard the good news!”

Gwen smiled and tilted her head, “Now we just have to wait twenty four hours to see if they turn.”

“Are you going to sit with them?”

She shook her head and took his hand, “I’m not speaking to them currently. Plus, I don't think I could be there if any of them...you know…”

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

“Please.”

The pair walked, gossiping about all the trashy books the tiny on base library had stocked. The fourth Outlander book was still missing--it was legitimately written down in the Vital Supplies List for supply runs--and someone had written a bullet point summary of it at the end of the third and the beginning of the fifth. It was arguably the most popular Outlander book and there were several theories about who the author was--it was Merlin’s handwriting even though he had vehemently denied it; and some of the wording sounded like Gwaine but he always turned his nose up if someone tried to mention it.

They took several laps, went into the garden and checked on the plants again; their garden was probably one of the best tended in the world. Eventually, the pair went into the common room by their adjacent rooms and that’s where they fell asleep, still talking about everything they could think of.

Gwen awoke when the sun was high in the sky, nestled against Lance. She shot up when she realized that twenty four hours had passed. She looked around the room but it was empty. Someone should have come to get her, her brother should be here himself if he was okay. Running a hand through her hair nervously, she went to get up but Lance awoke.

“Calm down, it’s still early.”

Gwen shook her head, turning to look at him. “They came here before daybreak, they should be here--”

“Maybe they decided to let us sleep?”

Worry and grief and a whole cocktail of unhealthy emotions flowed through her veins and she just leaned forward and kissed him. For a moment, Lance was still, then he started kissing her back, one hand cupped her cheek, the other rested on her waist.

If she could stay right here in this kiss forever she’d be happy. She’d never have to face Elyan, Perce, and Gwaine’s potential deaths. She’d never have to take one more step in a world without Arthur and Merlin. She wouldn’t have to worry about the perimeter wall or food dividation. She could just be here, holding him, perfectly happy, forever. 

“Who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing to my little sister?”

Gwen pulled away from Lance and couldn’t help but laugh, “Elyan, please!”

Lance, blushing fiercely, stammered, “what the hell do you mean ‘who the fuck are you’?”

“I’m not a zombie and the only thing you say to me is Elyan please?” he cried in mock outrage, pointedly ignoring Lance. Gwen ran across the room and threw herself into her brother’s arms. He spun her around and as Gwen watched the world spin, she caught sight of Perce and Gwaine with Lance. She shut her eyes and hugged her brother tighter, _thank god_. They were okay.

“Do mum and dad know?” she asked and when he shook his head, she smiled, grabbed him around the wrist, and dragged him off, “Come on, we have to let them know.”

She dragged him through the base, several people shouted in surprise and raced to hug him but Gwen was singular in her goal. She found her mother sitting with Hunith and both women screamed so loudly, her father, who had been outside, came rushing in.

They all hugged Elyan until he looked thoroughly uncomfortable and Gwen’s heart was light.

In this moment everyone she cared about was safe.

But moments like that were slim and far between.

 

* * *

 

“Where’s Morgana.” Gwen demanded, storming out of the building towards the group at the door. Percival shook his head, he was pale and out of breath. “No.” she gasped, her hand going down to the knife she kept at her side.

“Mordred’s dead, Morgana fell off a cliff--”

“No.” Gwen stormed out of the gate. She wasn’t losing anyone else. She couldn’t lose her best friend.

“Gwen--” Perce protested as she climbed into the car. She knew exactly where they had been, she was going back for her. The hadn’t seen her body, they hadn’t watched her die, there was still hope. “Fuck--Will get the others--Gwen stop!”

She turned the car on and looked to him evenly, “I’m going to get her, either you get in or you’re going to get dragged.”

Perce glanced to the compound and then hoisted himself into the passenger seat. She put the car in reverse and turned around just outside the gate. Before she could put the car back into drive, the back doors opened and several people climbed in. As soon as they shut the door, she drove off, not looking into the rearview mirror until she had been driving several minutes.

When she did, she nearly slammed on the breaks. “Dad.” she protested but there wasn’t anything she could do to get him back home. “Gaius--” she said in much the same voice. The old man had a doctor’s bag on his lap and he looked out the window like he hadn’t seen the world in decades.

Will shrugged at her from where he was seated next to him and Gwen made a sharp sigh and struck the steering wheel gently with her palm.

As they got nearer to the cliffs, Gwen let Perce and Will be terrible backseat drivers and point out where they had gone and what had happened in great detail.

“Turn left--” her father said suddenly, “if you go left there should be a road that goes through the woods. If Morgana fell that’s how we’ll reach her.”

Gwen was sure they were all going to die. Ever since Merlin, she hadn’t stepped foot in any sort of woods. She kept to the streets, kept to where she could see what was coming for her blood.

She drove into the woods. Perce drew a gun. Her father and Will directed her until Perce sharply told her to stop.

“Stay here.” Will said sharply, “We might need to get away fast.”

“What do you mean by that? How many are out there?”

“There shouldn’t be any. But just in case. You need to stay with the car so it doesn’t get stolen.” Stolen? She wanted to joke but she remembered the man she had killed and how he had tried to steal their weapons. A car and it’s fuel could be the difference between life and death for someone. 

Her father and Gaius got out of the car and she had to grip the steering wheel to stop herself from telling them to get back in. “Please be safe.”

She watched as they all walked into the woods and then she was alone.

Thoughts of Merlin bore down upon her, she could feel him watching from behind a tree and she had to get a hold of herself. She had nightmares of Merlin’s disappearance even more often than she did of Arthur turning into a monster.

Gwen counted the minutes; they had ten before she went after them. Drumming her fingers on the wheel, she glanced around the car. It was a regular old minivan with worn out seats and crumbs all over it. She’d have some of the kids brush it out when they got back. It would keep them busy and make them feel like they were making a difference. They were too young for all of this, but they were so strong.

She leaned back into the seat and looked around. She wanted so badly to pretend everything was normal again but she couldn’t even imagine another car coming down the road. By their best estimates the virus had decimated the world’s population. The UK alone had lost a staggering forty percent of it’s population--and that was the most optimistic estimate. The worst estimate was seventy five percent and that was something she couldn’t comprehend.

Movement to her right and--Will was coming back. He looked pale but incredibly, he gave her a thumbs up. From the snowy woods behind him emerged Gaius and then her father and Perce. Between them they carried Morgana on a makeshift sort of stretcher that looked like it was several large branches tied together with fabric and belts. Blood dripped from a wound on her leg onto the snow and she shuddered. Gwn twisted around in her seat as they gently laid her down in the middle. Will climbed into the back and held her as still as possible and Gaius sat in the front seat next to her.

“She alive. But barely.”

“I can’t believe we left her--she’s alive. She hasn’t been bit.” Will said numbly.

“That we can tell.”

“She hasn’t been bit that we can tell,” he amended as the others got in the car and Gwen drove them back as quickly as possible without jostling Morgana.

Hunith and her mother raced over as soon as they entered the gate. “We had that talk a couple weeks ago, remember, about how you needed to be more careful?”

“I panicked.” she said quietly. “But she’s alive.”

“She’s alive?” Gwaine gasped and he was so bundled up in winter gear that she hadn’t even recognized him.

Morgana was rushed to the infirmary and Gwen just stood there for a moment with Hunith, her mother, and Gwaine. She sighed and shut her eyes.

“You weren’t kidding about letting anyone else die.” Gwaine said softly, “I almost believe that you might be able to find the cure Merlin was so sure of.”

Gwen shook her head and hugged him, “Let’s get out of the snow before we all catch colds.”

She kept herself busy for a few hours as Morgana struggled to cling to life. Eventually, at Leon’s instance, she went to check on her. Someone had moved a bed into the observation cages and she was tucked in, looking like she was asleep.

Her parents walked up on either side of her. Her mother pulled her into a hug, “Is she okay?”

“She’s breathing, but barely.”

Breathing but barely summed up Morgana’s condition for the next several weeks. The woman stayed stable but she was always a breath away from flatlining. Gwen sat with her as much as she could. She had fallen asleep clutching her hand more than once. Lance started physically picking her up and carrying her back to her room and when the emptiness of her room became too much, he’d sleep in the common room with her. Occasionally she’d slip into Elyan or Perce’s bed. They never minded much. Once or twice she and Gwaine shared a pillow.

Gwen was sitting by Morgana’s side reading when the impossible happened--she woke up. At first, Gwen couldn’t comprehend but then Morgana groaned and she stood sharply, knocking her chair back into the ground.

Morgana’s eyes fell on her and she knotted her brow, “What happened?”

“There was an ambush and you slipped off a cliff--you fell but we got you. You’re alright. You’re going to be okay.”

Her eyes were suddenly clear and focused, “Mordred.”

Gwen froze, mouth half open, caught between telling a lie and the truth. They had been friends for too long and Morgana could read her. “No,” she said, shaking her head and she tried to push herself further away from her, sinking into the pillow and thin mattress. “Gwen, no.”

She reached forward but Morgana recoiled, “What happened?” Tears filled her eyes and a few slipped down her cheeks, “Everything was fine and then--something--something happened. Gwen, it was only his second time out. I didn’t want him to go, he’s only fourteen, but he’s fourteen and he needs to know what the world’s like and--Gwen, please. There has to be a mistake. He’s only fourteen. You found him in Oxford-- _Gwen_.”

Gwen turned, Maryanne was standing in the doorway, “Get Gaius and Hunith.”  Maryanne nodded and raced away and Gwen turned back to Morgana, “You have to calm down, Morgana, you--”

But she was inconsolable and she was hurting herself in her grief. Blood started to seep through the bandage on her shoulder and so Gwen raced across the room, went into the cabinet and grabbed a bottle and a needle and then sedated her. As Morgana slipped back into unconsciousness, Hunith raced into the room.

“She asked about Mordred and realized he was dead from my face.” she said softly, “But she’s awake.”

Hunith sighed, hands on her hips. “She’s awake,” she agreed.

 

* * *

 

 

Gwen was on Morgana’s bed next to her, worn paperback novel on her lap. The sun was shining and it almost made the room feel warm.

“If you try to read me any more of Twilight, I swear to god…” Morgana’s voice sounded stronger than the day before. It had been two months and she was still bedridden. But now it was less about surviving and more about recovery.

It was nice to see someone recover.

They were surviving off of pickled carrots and beans and it had been so long since they had had a decent meal that she was starting to crave the combination.

“Beggars can’t be choosers.”

“I’ll throw myself from this bed, Guinevere, I really will.” Morgana’s voice was dry but her eyes were shining.

Gwen smiled, “Well you’re in luck, I have Little Women today.”

“Luck?” Morgana asked the air, but she settled down to let Gwen read to her.

It was a calm sort of routine. Whenever the base could spare her, Gwen would slip into her room and read to Morgana; who was going on three months bedridden. Losing Mordred had been a near fatal blow for her, the emotional shock was always more deadly than the physical injuries. Gwen’s eyes trailed over the words and she read them quietly aloud, willing the image of Morgana’s blood on the snow to go away.

When she took a break for a sip of water, Morgana lazily turned to her, “So, how are things between you and Lance?”

“The same as they were this morning, Morgana. If you want gossip, you’re going to have to get it from someone else.”

“Whatever happened to Elizabeth’s crush on Sophia?”

“I think the two of them are currently fighting over Perce?”

“Poor Perce.” Morgana sighed, “Those children are vicious.”

Gwen began reading and the two women fell into the story, Gwen had read it several times already, desperate for an escape, so it was a dull sort of comfort.

They had been reading for maybe a half hour when the window on the other side of the room suddenly opened and snowflakes blew in. Morgana had been staring at the window for several minutes by then and so Gwen’s heartbeat sped up--

“Oh!” Little Women fell from her hands and hit the floor with a deep thud, “Did you do that? Was that your magic?”

Morgana’s wide eyes met hers and then she was smiling. “Sorry!”

“Close the window.” Gwen sat on her knees on the bed, watching the window, ready for Morgana to use her magic.

The window shook a little but then it slid shut. After a second, it latched too. “You did it!” Gwen whispered and threw her arms around her friend.

“My magic’s back!” She sighed happily, “Thank god, it was so frustrating having all those dreams but no concrete magic.”

“Do something else--”

Morgana held out her hands, her eyes glowed gold and Little Women was picked up and thrown from the room. There was a shout--Will--and then Lance walked into the room, holding the book. “I see you’re feeling better.”

“Tell that witch she nearly smashed my face in!” Will called but his voice was getting softer, like he was walking down the hall.

“Next time I’ll have better aim!” Morgana called and then she laughed as he shouted something none of them could make out. She smiled at Lance, “My magic’s back. Soon I’ll be able to get out of this godforsaken bed.”

“If it were nice you’d probably be able to sit outside.”

“Please don’t try to talk her into attempting to change the weather.” Gwen sighed and Morgana turned to her like that was an _excellent_ idea.

“I’m actually here to steal you, Gwen, we wanted your opinion of what we should do in the garage.”

“What are you doing in the garage?” she asked, her voice guarded.

“They’re fixing up some of the cars. They’re getting rid of some of the seats and they’re putting bars on the window so if there was ever an attack, they’ll be able to stand up to more.”

“Take her then.” Morgana sighed, “I can’t be selfish when it comes to our commander.”

Gwen rolled her eyes, but Lance only shrugged, “I’ll only need her for a moment.”

“Toss me that book, I’m invested now.”

“I’ll be right back.” Gwen pat the bed and went to followed Lance as he walked out the room but Morgana held her back a moment.

“By the way, he’s going to surprise you tomorrow morning with flowers.”

Gwen lazily flipped her off as she left the room, whispering furiously, “Quit ruining every surprise he tries to do for me!”

 

* * *

 

A month later and the snow was still falling, people were still dying, the infection was still spreading but no one was ill and Morgana was up and storming around the base again.

It would have to be enough.

“Has anyone heard from America lately? Is it even a country anymore?” Gwaine was sprawled out on the floor, wrapped in about three different blankets. They were...well Gwen wasn’t sure what exactly her friends were doing. She had been sitting on a couch in the common room with Lance reading after dinner in candle light when everyone started to trickle in.

“I highly doubt they’ve had time to split into factions.” Perce and Will were playing darts on one side of the room as Leon patched a pair of trousers nearby and teased both of them with every shitty shot they took.

“No, they pretty much did it almost instantaneously. I highly doubt America is a country anymore--or at the very least they’re down a couple states.”  Gwaine was still acting like he was straight up allergic to the cold and Morgana was using his shoulders as a footrest.

They were snowed in, buried under a thick layer of white.

It was altogether so pleasant an evening that it was jarring. The rest of the world was a mess. Worst than a mess, it was a tragedy that was constantly unfolding. Every morning they woke up to a world that was slightly worse than the night before.

They were surrounded, they were running out of resources, they had mere _days_ to survive. The only thing that could save them now was a miracle.

Gwaine and Morgana whispered furiously to each other next to her and Gwen let the sound of their voices lull her to sleep.

She awoke to the sound of Morgana screaming.

 

* * *

 

 

Gwen scrambled awake, tossing the blanket someone had draped over her to the floor. They were still in the common room, she was still in the chair only Lance had left at some point. Morgana was on the couch, a blanket draped over her legs. Gwaine, on the couch next to her had his hands up like he wanted to comfort her but couldn’t.

“Morgana it was a nightmare.” Elyan tried to sooth her, kneeling down next to the couch. “You fell asleep and you had a nightmare.”

Morgana’s eyes went wide and she whispered, “Merlin.”

“What?” Gwaine looked to her and then around him to the others, as if he was making sure he heard her right. “Merlin? _Merlin?_ ”

“Morgana--” Gwen whispered,, getting out of the chair and clutching her friend’s hand in her own, she knew Morgana’s nightmares and this wasn’t the usual reaction--this was something different, something wilder, “Are you okay--what’s happened?”

“I--there was this great-- _pull_ of magic and then--it was Merlin, I swear it was. It was his magic.”

“He’s alive then?” Leon ask quietly, and Gwen couldn’t tell if he was surprised or tired or if he somehow expected their friend to come back from the dead after a couple months.

Shutting her eyes for a moment, Morgana nodded and allowed herself a little smile, “I think--I think he _is._ ”

“How the _hell_ did he survive?” Gwaine demanded, like Morgana knew.

“His magic?”

Gwen shook her head, magic didn’t have any sort of upperhand against the infection but Morgana ran her fingers through her hair, “It must have. Or luck.”

“He’s always been a lucky bugger,” Leon mused from the edge of the room, but Morgana still had more to say.

“That’s not all...I...he’s after Arthur.”

“Like to behead his zombie?” Gwaine asked carefully.

“No. To save him.”

The room was silent. There was no cure. Time and time again it had been proven--tests were conducted daily in Japan and France and Canada, they all failed. Every single report that came in about a new test failed. The cure had been violence; it had been killing them before they killed you. No wonder Merlin with his kind eyes and ready smile didn’t survive it.

Only now, according to Morgana’s magic, he _did_. According to Morgana’s magic, Merlin was alive.

“When Albion’s need is greatest--Arthur will rise again.” Gwen whispered, remembering the words the old woman had said that night, the first attack. She remembered the way her head was half caved in, she remembered the way Merlin’s fingers dug into her arm.

“I thought that was--” Morgana suddenly went pale and she drew in a deep breath. “I thought that was foretelling him being turned.”

“If anyone’s found a cure, it’d be Merlin.”

“Now we just have to find him.”

“Find him? Find a dead man?” Leon walked the length of the room twice and then started pacing in front of the couch. “The odds of finding him are zero, maybe twenty percent.”

“England isn't that big, mate.” Will said, but his face was white.

“I wouldn't trust myself to find him in town.”

“This would be the most insane thing we ever did.” Morgana’s voice was so quiet, everyone else stilled to hear her. “We’d have to go on what’s essentially, a suicide mission. We’d have to leave everything and just wander around, trying to survive out there.”

“If we stay here we’ll never know.”

“Alright, quit quoting Disney, Perce.” Gwaine hissed.

“What the fuck,” he whispered back. 

“Do we trust it?” Gwen asked quietly, “Do we trust your magic?”

Morgana was quiet, but then she nodded, “I’m sure of it. I know what I felt. It’s true. Merlin’s out there.”

“Okay, Pocahontas, we’re going out there among the millers and the weavers and their wives.”

“Seriously, Gwaine, what the fuck?”

That was Lance’s cue to return, he had a mug of tea in his hands and he looked almost guilty for Gwen waking up with him gone. She pat the seat next to her and she quickly filled him in on what he missed.

When she was done, Lance looked to her evenly, “Let me get this straight, you’re all going to search for Merlin and Arthur, one of whom you watched turn right before your eyes over a year ago?” Gwen nodded, and so Lance continued, “And your only clue is Morgana’s magic?”

“She hasn’t been wrong yet.”

“Can I go with you?”

His request caught her so off guard that she actually did a double take, “Why--but Lance, you're needed here.”

He shook his head, “We’ve been surviving for so long here it’s time we take a chance to live again. If your best hope is Arthur and Merlin then I won’t stop until we’ve found them. Plus, Merlin and Gaius nursed me back to life, so I owe it to him not to give up on him.”

“I mean we kinda did for a little while--for a while we absolutely gave up on him.” Gwaine reminded everyone, “I don’t want anyone to forget that.”

Lance expertly ignored him and took Gwen’s hands in his and held them impossibly gently, “and I couldn’t stand knowing you were out there while I was safe behind these walls.”

“Lance…” Gwen muttered. They both had been out there a multitude of times over the past couple of months since they had silently gotten together, but she understood that this time was different. This time wasn’t a quick grab and come back, this verged on suicidal.

“Please, Gwen, let me go with you.”

She searched his eyes for a long moment and then reached up and kissed him, “Okay. Okay you can come with us.” She wrapped her arms around him and they held each other tightly as the others took that as their cue to start making plans.

 

* * *

 

The air was thick around them and cicadas threatened to drown out her thoughts. They moved in careful, slow steps cautious of every rustle of the leaves.

Stay together. They had said. Stay together.

Something caught her eye to the left and Gwen didn’t even think about it--she walked off in that direction. She kept her hand on the small gun at her side and her knife was strapped to the outside of her pants. She was ready in case something came after her but---

Someone was standing at the end of the street, someone tall and with dark hair and--

“Merlin,” she breathed and his head shot up. For one long terrible moment Gwen thought that he was gone. Her gun felt like a ton in her hand. Then, he smiled. She put a hand over her mouth and laughed, a light, disbelieving sound.

“Gwen?”

She could almost physically feel the days melt away, “Merlin!” She ran and he met her halfway, throwing his arms around her tightly. After a moment though, she let go and took a step back, “Where did you go?” she asked quietly. She had sworn for months that if he was out there, if he was alive he’d come back but he hadn’t. He was out chasing a ghost.

Which was exactly what they were doing but at least they let someone know where they were going.

“What do you mean?” He looked at her concerned, his hands on her upper arms as if when he let go she wouldn’t be real.

“That day, when we went to save those people and we lost you. We stayed for hours. Looking for you. Where did you go?”

Merlin shook his head and lifted his shoulders in a half aborted shrug, “I was knocked down. I hit my head, I woke up in a house.”

“Someone saved you?”

“Sort of?”

She remembered the destroyed body of the woman, it had known their names, “Zombies saved you?”

“Sort of.”

“You were dragged away without Morgana or I seeing?”

She stepped out of his reach. She was suddenly overwhelmed and she took a breath to steady herself. “I honestly don’t have any memory after the blow to the back of my head.

Gwen bit her lip but when she spoke again it was to ask, “What do you mean zombies sort of saved you?”

“Would you believe me if I said it was a dragon?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” she ran her hand over her face, “A dragon, Merlin? What am I, dreaming?”

“I can prove it to you. I have one--Athusia--she’s with Arthur right now.”

“Arthur.” Gwen said. There was a sick taste in her mouth and her skin felt like it was crawling. She wanted to be anywhere but here. Merlin, who wasn’t dead, had found Arthur.

Maybe she was dreaming? Maybe something had happened to her and this was all a fever dream.

“Where are the others? I’ll take you to him.”

“Bring him to us.” She said quickly, horrible images of ambushes came to mind and it didn’t matter if it was Merlin in front of her. A part of her didn’t trust him. He would have come back.

He nodded and Gwen nodded and then he turned and left. She ran off back towards the others.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Gwaine said as Lance pulled her into a hug and Morgana scolded her for wandering off.

“I might have,” she confessed honestly.

“Was it Merlin?” The only thing she could do was nod and everyone spoke at once.

“Did he look alive?”

“Why isn’t he with you?”

“Merlin--really?”

She let the the others freak out for a minute before she pulled her gun out of her belt. “He said he was coming with Arthur and a dragon.”

“A fucking what?” Morgana blurted out, but Lance just nodded.

“Kilgharrah?”

“What the fuck, Lance,” several people said at once.

Lance shrugged, “Merlin and I are mates, we talk about these things some time and I happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“I cannot believe I’m dreaming right now,” Gwen muttered to herself and Morgana laughed.

“Guys--” Merlin said and they all turned to look in his direction when he walked into view. She could feel everyone holding their breaths, and then her eyes welled up with tears. He was here. Merlin was here. In front of her. “Hey,” he smiled, looking tired. “So like, don’t freak out but--Arthur.”

The blond man walked around the corner and seven guns were pointed at him immediately. The only one who hadn’t raised their weapon was Morgana. She could feel Merlin glance to her, but Gwen couldn’t shake the terror of watching understanding leave Arthur’s eyes.

“Not to be rude, mate, but last time anyone saw you were in the midst of the zombification process so...” Gwaine shrugged, indicated the rifle in his hand.

“Did you bring him back to life?”

Morgana’s words drifted through the quiet air and Merlin’s shoulders drooped. He looked beyond exhausted.

“Yes. I...I don’t know how I did--but I--I did. It worked he’s alive.”

“You found the cure.” Gwen gaped, looking at Arthur’s tired smile, the _understanding_ in his eyes, “Merlin you did it.”

He shook his head. “It...it didn’t work on anyone else. I tried--fucking hell--I _tried_ but...the only one it worked on was Arthur.”

“So what do we do?” Perce asked Arthur casually, as if it were up to him which pub they visited next. “That old woman said you’d rise again when our need was greatest so...what’s it gonna be?”

Arthur looked thoroughly overwhelmed, “Me? I--”

“Arthur--you were one of them--what do you remember?” Gwaine prompted, arms crossed over his chest.

“I…” he began and then ran a hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck, “I...okay. But--can we get some water first? Maybe a biscuit?”

“Mate, now that you’re not hungry for brains I will find you whatever you’re craving.”

“Twiglets?” Arthur asked hopefully and Leon forcibly rolled his eyes.

Something moved behind Arthur, something white and-- _oh_. The dragon. Gwen honestly didn’t know if it had been there the whole time and she just hadn’t noticed or not, but there was an honest-to-god dragon flying in the air just behind Arthur. It peered out from behind his shoulders like it was afraid of them.

“Come on, we’re staying in this tiny little station, they’ve set it up as a shelter,” Merlin said, scratching the dragon behind its ears.

“If you’re ambushing us, I’m shooting you in the head.” Gwaine told him matter-of-factly.

“If I am, I’ll beat you to it.” Merlin’s tone was a mix between light and tired as he led them all away, looking around as if he expected an attack.

“So, Arthur,” Gwaine said, “Nice dragon. Nice to see you’re not walking around dead, that would be a real mood killer.”

"Why are you all here?”

“To find you, mate.”

“Have…” he began, but trailed off as if afraid of the answer.

“No. Morgana had a dream that you were out here somewhere and so we all came out to find you.”

“Morgana had a dream and you all went looking for dead men?” Arthur’s tone was beyond disbelief and the only reason he was still walking was because Merlin had his hand in his.

“Pretty much yeah.”

“Morgana’s psychic” Gwen said quietly, “She has magic like Merlin.”

“What the fuck,” Arthur blurted out, turning around to see Morgana.

“You have a dragon, you have no room to talk,” Morgana snapped and Gwen kept an eye on her, if she was mad at Arthur for not returning to her...

Merlin and Arthur led them into the small underground room at the station. It was packed with people, all of whom looked completely unfazed by the dragon, and Gwen instantly went into business mode.

“Let me get some paper--we have to send word to the others too--Gaius and your mother--” Gwen looked around the room, found out they had a working radio but they hadn’t yet made contact with anyone and then bustled off to go get what they needed and to have someone radio centre.

Gwen returned to her friends just as a young woman walked up next to Merlin. She scanned the newcomers and then her eyes went wide, “Lance?” she gasped and then Lance raced towards her. He picked her up in a hug and spun her around in his arms. She held on to him tightly, her smile blinding.

Merlin crossed his arms, “She didn't tell me she knew Lance.”

Gwen smiled at the pure relief on his face, he put Freya down and then looked around the room, searching. When his eyes landed on her, he grinned and dragged her over by the arm. “Gwen! This is my cousin, Freya. We grew up together.”

The name immediately brought back one of the nights he and Gwen stayed up till dawn talking. He had told so many stories of all the things the two of them had done. They had been so quiet remembering everyone they'd never see again.

Gwen smiled. Merlin, Arthur and now Lance’s cousin. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Freya, this is Gwen, my girlfriend.”

“Oh,” Merlin made a little interested hum and pointedly didn't look at anyone.

Gwen rolled her eyes and elbowed him sharply as Lance realized what he had said and he fumbled over his words to make it right, “Oh , uh, that is, I didn't mean, my mouth ran away from me--”

She stepped forward and took his hand in hers, “No, I like that.”

He smiled and everything was okay. He gently took her face in his hands and kissed her. She smiled into the kiss, standing on her toes.

“What the hell is going on here?” Arthur said sharply and Gwen was set on ignoring him. Now that the shock of seeing him alive was over, she was starting to fall back into being used to him, well, being there.

Lance, however, pulled away guiltily. Gwen sent Arthur a cool glance that only Merlin and Freya picked up on, the pair shared a smile,  “Sorry--”

“Arthur, this is Lance, my boyfriend.” Gwen said calmly overtop of Lance trying to backtrack or explain or whatever he was trying to do.

“I know who Lance is,” he hissed, but then he looked him up and down, transparently appraising him. “And you know who I am and who I’m dating and what I’ve been through so if you hurt her, the undead will be the least of your problems.”

At ‘undead’, Merlin’s eyes lit up, “Actually, you’re technically undead twice over so--”

“ _Mer_ lin, shut up or I’ll go for the face again.”

Merlin obviously had several things to say, but he settled on raising his eyebrows suggestively. Arthur looked a little sick at his joking however, even though he had been the one to start it.

She didn’t want to know and so she didn’t ask. “I’m going to radio home. You all stay here and figure out what we’re going to do.”

Without waiting for anyone, she took off down the hall. She hadn’t the faintest idea where she was going but soft footsteps followed after her so she trusted they would intervene when she took a wrong turn.

Freya caught up to her and led her down the halls to the radio room, “It’s nice to meet you, Gwen.”

“Likewise. Lance did tell me all about the two of you, how you both did swimming.”

“With the last name du Lac, it was pretty inevitable.” She giggled, “He was pretty terrible at it though. He was consistently second to last.”

“But never last.”

“No, never last.” she pushed open the door to a storage closet to reveal a small desk with two chairs set in front of it. “Here’s where we keep the radio, it’s only a small thing.”

“We were lucky to get military equipment, even if most of the military personnel were some of the first to be turned. They were out fighting it while we were inside and...well…”

“Sometimes it’s safer inside the walls,” Freya finished and Gwen nodded as she searched for their frequency.

After several tries, a voice came through but it was over run with static. Freya frowned and then smacked the back of it.

“Gwen?” Hunith’s voice was crystal clear for a second and then it was swallowed by static again, “--that you?”

“Hunith?” Gwen said through the static, “Can you hear me?”

“Is everyone alright?”

“Yes. But--listen carefully--Merlin’s alive.”

Silence rang out and when the next person spoke, it was her mother, “Guinevere did you just say what I think you did?”

“Merlin’s alive. It’s...somehow he survived. There’s--there a whole lot going on right now but he’s alive. We’ll be home in several days, I don’t want to quantify it but two weeks max we’ll all be home.”

“Be safe. All of you.”

“Always. You all as well. Is everyone alright?”

“We’re all anxiously waiting for you to come home.”

“We’ll be as fast as we can.”

Gwen turned to Freya who was worrying her bottom lip. After a moment of silence, she looked up, “How much room do you have? Do you have room for the twenty of us here?”

It took only a moment to consider the rooms they had, their medical supplies and food supplies. Twenty more people were a lot but...if they expanded, if they sealed off the ground floors to some of the neighboring buildings and built bridges to the first floor windows, which would have to be converted to doors. If they created rooftop gardens...spring was coming...and…

“It won’t be easy but...I think we can. We’ll have to discuss with everyone, of course, I can’t make a decision like this on my own.”

“We have limited supplies, an overwhelming store of tinned pineapple, but not much else. Honestly, we’re starving here in the underground and we’re attacked nearly every other day. There used to be so many more of us but…”

“We’ll get you out,” Gwen said, standing and heading back to the others. “If we can’t take you at home then we’ll find someplace that can. We’re in contact with other shelters, we trade crops, supplies.”

“You’re living.”

For the longest time, Gwen thought of it only as surviving but…”yes.”

The two women went back to the others and plans went into action frighteningly quickly. Gwaine, Leon, and Perce still drilled Arthur for whatever undead memories he might have. The list he compiled was short: felt like a roller coaster, don’t remember much, hungry--when Gwaine first read the list, he handed Arthur a recently expired bag of crisps he had been carrying around in his bag for who knows how long. No one really thought it was that funny besides Merlin).

“Oh.” Merlin said suddenly, as Gwaine and Perce were loudly wondering why the hell they had a microscope setup if they were all about to starve to death, “we--we figured out what the virus looks like.”

“What?” Lance gasped looking around at them all, “how?”

“Magic. You need magic to isolate it. Finna--she can explain it better.”

An older woman walked over but Gwen missed most of the explanation except that they could tell if someone was infected immediately by just a single drop of blood. No more waiting twenty four hours to see if they turned belatedly. 

They radioed back home a couple more times to ascertain how much of a strain twenty more people would put on their supplies and Gwen did her best to keep arguments on topic: people were scared but survival was their number one goal. They needed access to food and water, they needed a shelter that wouldn’t give way to monsters in the middle of the night.

Two days later they were headed back home.

They arrived home around noon, the sun was high in the sky but mostly covered by clouds. As they approached, there was a commotion inside and the gates swung open to revel Will standing there, a rifle casually slung over his shoulders, squinting at them, obviously looking for his best friend.

Merlin, who was walking next to Arthur and Gwen, immediately hit the both of them and gave a broken cry of excitement. He glanced around but there was nothing in sight and then he raced to the gates. Will dropped the gun and threw his arms around him, clapping him on the back and saying something that sounded like “good job on the whole not dying thing, mate.”

It was chaos when they all made it inside, fifty people talking at once, everyone gawking at one another. Just seeing a stranger was something they didn’t take for granted. Gwen flitted back and forth, seeing that the supplies they brought with them were sent to the correct place, made sure those who needed water or food got it. She hugged everyone, Elizabeth, who already looked older,  raced over and held onto her for several minutes before she took Freya’s bags and went to show them where they would be staying. 

Gaius found her with tears in his eyes, unable to look away from Merlin. “They’re alright? They’re not infected?”

“According to their blood, they’re not. Let me find Finna, they don’t know how to prevent it but they know what the virus looks like, they know how it mutates the blood.” She looked around and then pointed them out, introduced them and then moved on to the next thing.

Hunith held Merlin for ten minutes unable to stop her sobbing. Will had hugged Arthur with a ferocity that Arthur very obviously had not expected and then Will straight up did not leave Merlin’s side for the rest of the day.

The chaos went on for days after their arrival and for the first time in a while, Gwen allowed herself to hope.

 

* * *

 

 

Arthur was hope, he was a living breathing example of the worst getting better. Every time Gwen saw him she couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her lips. Arthur complained that everyone smiling at him all the time was off putting; but he had come back from the (un)dead, he could deal.

Arthur didn’t lead the charge into a new world, but he certainly affected everyone’s mood. Everyone was more optimistic around him, more determined that they could destroy this world once and for all.

Gwen couldn't look at Merlin. She knew it wasn't fair but she couldn't look at him. She had grieved him, mourned him and he was alive.

He hadn't come back. She had been so sure that if he somehow, by some grace of God, survived, that he'd come back. But he hadn't. He had gone after Arthur and….she didn't know how she felt.

Sure, she was happy, thrilled, beyond elated at he was okay but still--he had gone and done the impossible and hadn't let anyone know he was still alive. Fortunately, there was so much to do, she didn’t think he really noticed her avoiding him.

They went out and found concrete, sealed off the ground floors of some neighboring buildings. They built stairs leading up to newly created doorways, they created bridges leading to other homes, demolished the roofs on some of them, created gardens. They moved and expanded, they found other survivors, found missing friends.

They lost people, George’s leg became infected during a demolition accident and the infection spread to their heart. They had joked to the end that they hadn’t seen this coming, that they had been afraid of the wrong infection all that time. They watched as cities crumbled under power struggles.

But things were starting to change. They had hope, they had a renewal of the desire to see a tomorrow instead of a chain of todays.

As time went on, there were less screams, less terror, less zombies.

 

* * *

 

 

Gwen walked into the common room, a vase of fresh cut flowers in her hands. This was her last delivery. The lilacs gave a light perfume to the room that made everything feel a bit more real.

“Gwen, when Arthur and I get married, will you be the flower girl?” Merlin asked and next to him, Freya rolled her eyes.

“Did you put some flowers everywhere?”

She nodded, “As if this place wasn’t a jungle in itself.”

“No! Gwen I love the little raspberry plant in my room! I’d never trade it for anything.”

"Are you going to sit with us or are you going to continue buzzing around?” Morgana asked dryly.

“I just said I’m done.”

“Yeah, you’re making the rest of us look bad,” Will added and Gwen laughed.

“You put a new engine in one of the cars today. I’m not making anyone look bad.”

“If I had a quid for every time I got put into confinement, I’d be so rich let me tell you.” Gwaine had a bottle of whiskey in his hand and he drank from it so freely that even Will was eyeing him apprehensively.

“That’s because you’re so reckless.”

“I still swear you got bit last April,” Perce muttered, taking the bottle from him. Gwaine let it go and squinted at him as he walked away. After a long moment, he stood up and tipped right over onto the floor, his crutch lay useless on the floor by him. Several people laughed, but Merlin was still staring at him.

“What the hell have you all been up to?”

“Some fucked up shit,” Gwaine said from where he was now lounging on the floor like that had been his original goal. “Let me tell you, we have been up to some fucked up _shit_.”

Merlin got up and helped Gwaine to the couch. The older man went willingly, leaning heavily on Merlin’s shoulders. He caught Merlin’s hand as he deposited him and went to walk away and so Merlin just sighed and sat next to him.

“This place wasn’t the same without you, mate.”

“Someone had to go collect this self sacrificing ass from the pit of hell.”

“It was a Primark.” Arthur sighed and Gwaine squinted at him.

“What the fuck were you doing in Primark.”

“Shopping because his holiness couldn’t be seen dead in fall fashions in winter. “

“I’m starting to regret I didn’t eat you.”

Gwaine winked, ran his tongue over the inside of his cheek, and Arthur threw his hands into the air.

All in all, Gwen didn’t need to witness that exchange but she turned back to Lance who was reading at her feet. “Do you think we’ll make it to Spring?”

Lance glanced up to her, kissed the inside of her leg and nodded, “We’re too stubborn to let winter get the best of us now. We’re going to start planting seeds tomorrow, soon every window will be filled with tiny little plants. Spring is coming and we’re going to see it.”

“Yeah,” Gwen said, looking at the others. She still couldn’t quite believe that they’d all make it thought but looking around the room, she couldn’t imagine a world without her friends. It was completely unacceptable and she’d do anything to keep them safe.

There were less reports of zombies and more reports of healing, of new shelters and hide outs being located. She didn’t know if there was ever going to be an end to this but she was going to find a way to survive.

“Oh!” Gwaine shouted, thumping the arm of the couch for a moment, “Merls, Arthur listen--so you weren’t here for this but basically--” he trailed off to collect his thoughts and everyone waited patiently for whenever he had just realized, “--basically, Gwen has cursed us all.”

Arthur laughed, “Mate, you are so pissed right now.”

“No, actually she did,” Perce piped up and she shot him a glare that was returned with a smile.

“You...cursed everyone?” Merlin asked, a smile breaking through his bewilderment.

“I didn’t know you were magic too? Is this a side effect of the zombies or what?” Arthur asked, wrinkling his nose up, glancing around as if to see which other of his friends also knew magic.

Gwen secretly thought Freya and half of the newer population did but unless the woman told her herself, she wasn’t going to say anything.

“No--well, yeah because--the day after Merlin died--or well--no offense. Not died, the day after we thought you died, mate.” Merlin nodded and Gwaine went on but Leon cut him off.

“Gwen gave a speech where she basically said no one else was going to die and well, none of us _did_.” He glanced to Morgana suddenly and stumbled over his words, “Well--”

Morgana shook her head, “the only exception is Oxford and honestly, Mordred and Eira were both too stubborn to let a curse affect them.”

Gwaine smiled sadly and then turned back to Merlin, “She did such a good job, in fact, that she brought the both of you back to life.”

“I was never dead,” Merlin reminded him.

“You don’t know that. You might have while you were unconscious for that bit there.”

“That’s less a curse, more of her not taking no for an answer. I was dying in a ditch somewhere when she drags her father and Gaius to retrieve me. Leon was attacked but he only lost sight in one eye. Elyan, Gwaine and Perce were missing for a bit and they all came back alive.”

“Yeah. It was scary out there, we all nearly bit it twice daily. Gwaine slightly more so, when he lost his leg he lost half of his self-preservation.”

Gwaine groaned, “Don’t remind me, I’ve just had that entire bottle. I’m nauseous as fuck right now.” Merlin threw his head back and laughed, but Gwaine just groaned, “Oh yeah so that’s funny yeah, isn’t it. Jesus Christ, Merlin you’re the rudest motherfucker I know.”

 

* * *

 

 

Just because the world was slowly curing itself didn’t mean it still wasn’t terrifying.

It was supposed to be a quick run, just a quick check but it had all gone tits up.

Gwen fired a bullet into the last zombie’s face and then turned to check on Percival. This was all too reminiscent of the time Leon lost sight in his eye. She had hesitated when they had arrived-she had be so _sure_ they were humans but then they were on top of them, their stench terrible and then Perce threw them away, tipped over and smacked his head against the shell of a minivan.

“Perce--” she said, softly and urgently, “can you hear me?”

The man didn’t stir and she checked his pulse a couple times until she could tell the difference between her own and his. Alive. But unconscious.

They had just gone out to inspect the outside of the gate. She really didn’t think there would be anything out here that could get the best of them. They were so careful. They were so practiced.

Gwen picked him up and slung his arm over her shoulder. His head lulled to the side but he was alive. She wouldn’t leave him here. The world was slowly starting to become safer, but it wasn’t safe yet.

She dragged him down the street, she was strong but the winter had been hard on everyone and he had a good two feet and at least thirty pounds on her. Gwen tried to be gentle as she dragged him, tried not to walk over anything, tried to make sure his feet were protected by his shoes.

Her breath was puffs in front of her face, her heart raced loudly in her ears. Gwen kept glancing behind her--the last thing she wanted was for something to sneak up on her.

After several long, stressful moments, she could see the base and luckily for her, someone was keeping watch for their return. There was a shout and then Will and Elyan raced out.

“What happened?”

“Ambushed, wasn’t too bad,” Gwen was breathing heavily, but it was mostly because of stress, “Perce slipped and hit his head.”

As if on queue, Perce groaned and Gwen nodded towards the gate, “Well come on, let’s get him inside before he freezes.”

“It’s not even that bad today,” Gwaine of all people said as he appeared from god-knows-where and Gwen playfully smacked his arm. He was dressed in a beanie and two scarves today.

“Come on.”

Gwaine and Elyan shared a tired smile and hoisted Perce up between them. Gwen glanced back down the street and then followed after them. She stayed back to help lock the gate, taking comfort in the satisfying sounds of locks sliding into place.

In the morning, Arthur and Gwaine burst through the door of the infirmary where Gwen was waiting for Perce to wake up.

“Gwen, I think you’ve put a curse on us.”

“Good,” she said sharply as Perce stirred with a groan that was completely human. “I’ll curse you all as many times as I need to. We’re losing no one else.” She was pretty sure the both of them had been outside and if they had already defied death today, she didn’t want to know.

“I cannot believe you dragged this lug all the way back here.” Gwaine nudged Perce’s leg with his crutch and the other man swore in his sleep.

“He’s going to be okay, he just has a minor concussion. It’s nothing bad at all.”

“You legit dragged him--” Arthur began but Gwen cut him off.

“It wasn’t that far and I’m stronger than I look, you better cut it out before I get offended, Arthur Pendragon.”

Arthur comically stopped short, and so she rolled her eyes. “Merlin was looking for you.”

“Was he?”

“Disgusting,” Gwaine grumbled as Arthur turned and hurried from the room. “Was he really?”

Gwen shook her head and shrugged, “Wanted to see if Merlin was right when he said all you had to do was mention his name and Arthur would go running to him.”

“Arthur is worse than a puppy following poor Merlin around, I’m actually surprised that we never bumped into him while he was turned.”

Gwen’s small smile slipped away, “I still can’t believe he was one of those things. I still can’t believe what I saw was real.”

“He’s alive now, that’s all that counts.”

“Why? Why out of all the people on this earth, why Arthur? Why does he get a second chance that no one else does?”

“It probably has to do with all those dragons and magic.”

“Fuck magic and dragons.” Tears were in her eyes despite herself, “So many people died, so many innocent people are dead and for what? Arthur’s alive because apparently he serves some kind of purpose but what about everyone else? They all have purposes, they all have things they want and need to do, they all have people who love them and would go through hell to get them back. Why is it just us who get our friend back?”

Gwaine wrapped his arms around Gwen, she could see that he had gotten a little pale, but she couldn’t help her outburst. It was clawing around inside her like some caged animal.

“We can’t change what happened. We can only prevent the past from repeating. We can only go forward.”

“I wish we didn’t have to.”

“Me too.”

Gwen stepped away and rubbed her face, she gave a tired little laugh, “Well, now that I’ve cried about not being able to time travel, I think it’s time for breakfast.”

“Yeah, that’s probably for the best. I told your brother to steal me some tea.”

“Steal? From the communal kitchen?”

“Let me cling to my rebel aire.”

Gwen shook her head, “What a rebel, stealing tea.”

“Okay, Miss. I nearly had a breakdown because I don’t own a time machine.”

“I’m going for breakfast!” she huffed with a laugh and then turned and went down the hall, leaving him to seek out her brother and the tea in peace.

 

* * *

 

 

Gwen sat in the sun sorting through piles upon piles of green beans. She, Hunith, her mother, Freya, and Gaius were spending the morning in the garden. Half the food they gathered would be eaten fresh and half would be preserved.

Spring had come and the garden was threatening to overtake the whole compound. They were digging themselves out after a long winter and some days Gwen couldn’t stop smiling from the sheer relief of it all. 

Her mother sat over a small fire--with no gas or electricity they had resorted to the most basic of tools. “The world sure went to shit fast,” she said lightly, positioning a grill over top of the embers. They were going to can as much as they could and her mother wasn’t shy about bragging about her new-found talent.

Freya sat boiling water and canning it for later that day. Their water supply was the most dangerous thing right now, but seeing as they were in England where it was almost perpetually rainy, Gwen wasn’t that worried. They had collection buckets ready.

Gaius was tending to another fire that they had a pot of tomato sauce cooking over. They were a farmer’s market dream team and every time Gwen felt her mind start to wander in face of the sheer number of mason jars they had gathered,  she reminded herself that saving food now was literally the only thing keeping them from starving in the winter. Merlin and Will came home from one trip with no less than three hundred jars of various sizes. Will liked to loudly tell everyone they were welcome whenever they ate something made from one of the aforementioned jars

They were pickling carrots, and peppers, and beans; they dried fruit and made it into jams. Gwen and her father had dug several root cellars and they were slowly filling them to the brim with potatoes and carrots and beets.

It was the most relaxing part of her day, she didn’t have to worry about anything but the recipes in front of her. Her mother, Hunith and Gaius were easy company as well. They all were ready with smiles and Gaius was more than willing to experiment with a couple jars. Merlin and Arthur both had already claimed a jar of strawberry rhubarb jam with an absolute blackmail of “when we were out there, you know, back when you all thought we were dead, we were living off of expired crackers”.

Hunith had glared, Gaius had given them all some strawberries for a snack, her mother had frowned pointedly and kept glancing to Gwen to see how she was, and Gwen had forced them to help for an hour before they managed to escape. Freya had thought the entire exchange had been adorable.

“Honey,” Hunith said, coming to sit next to her with a small basket of strawberries. They were going to dry them and then hide them away for a pick me up in the winter.

Gwen looked up and when she realized that neither her mother, Freya, or Gaius were paying attention, she knew it was an intervention.

“You’ve been running around, holding this whole place together by yourself for years--”

“It’s been three years.” It hadn’t been longer. It had only been three years. Just the length of Uni, not long at all. “And I’ve had help, I’ve had so much help. We wouldn’t have survived if everyone hadn’t pitched in to help.”

“You’ve been doing so much for so long that we all think it’s time you took a break.”

Gwen smiled wryly, glanced to Gaius and her mother before she turned her eyes back to Hunith, “You can’t take a break from survival.”

“We can cover for you, just for an afternoon.”

“I promised--”

“Already taken care of. Lance is coming to pick you up and then the two of you are going to have a very nice lunch together and then you’re going to take the rest of the day off. We don’t want to see you doing anything, that’s why we’ve enlisted Lance.”

Gwen bit her lip and then nodded, “Okay, I got a lot done yesterday, so I can afford to take a couple hours off.”

Her mother, satisfied with the way the pot of water was heating over the fire, came over to sit with them. She went to steal a strawberry and Hunith swatted her hand away. “Sweetheart, you do so much for everyone and...and you run out there without any regard for your own safety. You’re my little girl and if anything were to happen to you, I don’t know what I would do.”

“I’m sorry, Mum, but I’ve never gone out when--”

“Arthur and Merlin.”

“True, but we all went a little mad when it came to the two of them. It was--Morgana’s dreams you know.”

“It was her idea to pickle the carrots with the peppers, she told me she had a craving for them,” Gaius piped up and it was so utterly bizarre hearing people talk about magic so nonchalantly.

“Is the reason you work so hard because if you’re not doing anything you get overwhelmed by everything? Some days I can hardly sit still thinking about what poor Merlin has gone through, I remember when he was just a little thing falling in love with The Doctor.”

“Mum…” she began but Hunith was smiling.

“The world won’t end if you stop and take a breath every once and again.”

“There’s so much to do and--”

“You can’t change the world on your own. You have to rely on others.”

“I can try,” she said, setting green beans aside for dinner that night. “If it means no one else has to, I can try.”

Her mother kissed her forehead, “We’d all do the same for you so just _let us_ now and again, love, alright?”

“Spend an afternoon with your boyfriend, relax, everyone’s got this.” Freya piped up and her mother, Hunith and Gaius all beamed at her.

Gwen sighed in defeat, “Okay.”

That evening, long after everyone in the entire community had stopped eying Gwen, making sure she wasn’t doing anything but relaxing, all her friends were gathered in the common room. She and Lance had been there since dinner, but the others had trickled in slowly.

“Do you know what I’ve just realized,” Arthur said, sitting up from where he was half-asleep on Merlin’s lap. “The past week, every time we’ve gone out on patrol, I haven’t seen a single zombie.”

“No one’s radioed about an attack in a while either…” Gwen said, a feeling that was almost excitement stirred inside her and she had to stand to be able to shake it. She walked over to the window where the sun was slowly setting and she brushed her hair back absentmindedly. “The last one was when Perce and I were attacked I think.” Lance got up and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her gently into him. “Do you think…” she began and Elyan spoke up sharply.

“Holy shit. I...literally...haven’t thought about After...like, _ever.”_ He looked around the room. “Am I supposed to like, start planning how I’m going to work at an aquarium? Should I start reading up on penguins?”

“The whole world, and you go for penguins?” Leon asked, eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, you got a problem with penguins or something?”

Freya laughed and he blushed, “I think that sounds like an amazing plan. Did you know I was studying to be a vet before all of this?”

“Really?”

Gwen turned her brother out and watched as Sophia raced out of one of the other buildings and chase after a firefly. Hunith, self appointed babysitter, followed after her a moment later.

“Do you think it’s over?” she asked Arthur who was watching them as well now.

He looked at her in silence for a minute, thinking about his words and then, quietly, he said, “I think we should find out.”

Gwen sighed, already compiling a list of things they’d have to do if it were really safe to leave. They’d have to go back to London, see if their homes were still there. They’d have to make sure everyone got home, they’d have to find new homes for everyone. They would have to get used to living apart.

God, when was the last time she slept in a room by herself?

They’d have to redouble their efforts for finding people. So many will have just vanished. The best way to ensure a zombie didn’t reanimate was to burn the body. So many people would never be found.

Power and gas would slowly be turned back on, there would be so many inspections, there would be fires and gas leaks no matter how hard they looked.

Somehow they would have to restart the economy, the banks were robbed, there are piles of money throughout England like they were in some fantasy and they were left by trolls or pirates or dragons.

They’d have to come to terms with magic existing. With literal dragons literally hoarding gold.  They’d work towards paying too much for premade sandwiches at Primark and scraping together pennies for rent.

Gwen left the room and her friends squabbling over when was the last time they had seen an undead--not including Arthur, Merlin had clarified as she swept down the hall away from them all. She went into the radio room, someone had pinned more pictures to the walls, drawings and photographs.

They might all be leaving soon.

She messaged everyone, status reports, the number of zombies they had come across.

They all came back with the same answer: they hadn’t seen a zombie in weeks.

 

* * *

 

Life didn’t go back to normal for months. What if something worse was coming? What if it was a trap? What if they had evolved or just moved on?

The British Government (whoever and whatever that entailed anymore) got in contact with Ireland, with France and Canada, Brazil and Japan, South Africa. Over the course of the next six months, the reports all came back the same: the outbreak was either lessening or was gone.

“So, what did you do?” Perce asked Arthur one afternoon.

“Nothing.”

“A likely story. Come on, we’re mates, what did you do?”

“Mate, I’m serious I did nothing.”

Gwen had watched as Perce and Gwaine sighed and then went to look for Merlin. Their new thing was quizzing him on magic and dragons. From one supernatural thing to the other.

“You alright?” she asked Arthur who looked like he had a headache.

“I really didn’t do anything, Guinevere.” Arthur sighed. He looked so much older than when it all began. They all did. They all had lost so, so much.

They both stood on one of their rooftop gardens. If the world was going to right itself, the building was probably going to have to be torn down. A part of her was disheartened,but with a third floor covered in several feet of dirt and a ground floor sealed off with concrets, there wasn’t an option. Arthur picked at the blackberries growing. He handed one to Gwen and she ate it slowly.

“I know, but are you alright? We had a society going for a while and now everything’s going to change again.”

“It can’t be worse than smashing someone’s skull open to sink your teeth into their brain.”

Gwen chewed the blackberry slowly and tried not to feel sick, “You don’t remember that.” If it turned out that Arthur had been lying, being a zombie was going to be the least of his problems.

“No, but it doesn’t change the fact that I did. When I--woke up or whatever, all I could taste was copper.”

“Oh, Arthur.”

“It’s just something I have to live with. We all have so much we have to live with and...it’s still just beginning. This whole ordeal, it’s still just starting.”

She smiled and took his hand, “This ordeal is over, now it’s time for a new one. We’ve done it once before, found a way to live in a new world, we can do it again.”

“I don’t know.”

“We can. Don’t worry, Arthur, the worst is over. I don’t know what the woman had meant, when our need was greatest you would rise again but...maybe you were just the thing that stopped us from losing hope. You brought the others to us. You’re the reason we can so easily find out who’s infected.”

Arthur had frowned but nodded, looking out over the quiet streets below them.

 

* * *

 

 

Rebuilding was the easy part, rebuilding was the hard part.

The official date of the end of the apocalypse was September the twenty fifth. As of that date, the virus had been eradicated.

Officially.

Unofficially everyone still expected some decaying creature to try to crawl up on them. Everyone looked over their shoulder. Which, honestly, was what they were all living with. The thought of the virus being gone for good was laughable. It was probably out there somewhere in the mountains or jungle or desert. It might be in the ocean. If it was transferred to marine life, they might never end it.

But the virus above all was hunger and if it was out there, they’d know about it sooner rather than later. There would be attacks, they would multiply, it would be sudden and vicious like it had been the first time.

It hadn’t happened yet. It was a what if everyone planned for but they knew the signs, they had defeated it once. They weren’t quite ready--45% of the world’s population had been wiped out but they knew what to do if they were faced with it again.

Slowly, things returned to normal. Power came back on, BBC began broadcasting again. People returned to their homes, to their jobs.

The government rose again, several governments rose and they bickered and fought. They pointed fingers and tried to find someone to blame but Gwen was too tired to pay attention.

She found a new stride in the midst of all the rebuilding. Lance told her she had had it all along, but she could see where she could do good and she went for it. She joined committees (both by force and by choice), she found desperately needed resources, she formulated plans.

She was with Gwaine when a woman named Mithian found him, she was looking for Eira, she had her two younger sisters. The rest of the family had been killed and because both the girls broke down into ecstatic sobs when they saw Gwaine and refused to let go of him for a half hour, Mithian released them into his custody. Both he and Gwen had teared up over the real official documents of adoption--real official proof that she was dead--and all three adults steadily ignored it. It was probably going to take a while for Gwen to be upset over rent bills again. They meant they were safe, they meant they survived it.

Gwaine as a father was probably more unnerving than the zombies and the magic and the dragon, but he was good at it. He was, at best, an older brother, he’d say but he walked both girls to school when one opened up in London again and according to both Leon and Perce who had gone with them, he cried.

Real life after the nightmare was so jarring.

Gwen and Morgana both rose through the ranks, they both spoke out over new laws. They both did what they could to reunite missing families. Morgana was there when the first plane back to North America took off, full of students who had been studying abroad, business men and women desperate to get home and people on vacations that had gone on much too long.

They both fought over getting people home across borders. In the beginning, England had closed its borders and they organized an illegal transportation system to the rest of Europe.

There was paperwork and fine print and egos getting in the way of real tangible needs and, honestly, Gwen thrived in it. Gwen and Morgana both thrived as leaders. They helped pull the country from the blood and the ashes. Arthur, who in the beginning was the one Gwen was certain would take over the role, just supported them from the sideline. He had other priorities, he and Merlin were pretty much single handedly rebuilding Ealdor and Gwen knew as soon as they were done with that, they’d moved on to London. Morgana teased them about rebuilding the strand by hand and they both had only looked determined.

On the fifth anniversary of the day Arthur had burst into their apartment and rushed them off into their new lives, Gwen was due for a council meeting at five in the evening.

At half past eleven that morning, she stood on a rocky beach, the wind blowing through her hair. Her phone rang in her pocket, and still, the vibrations always startled her.

“Gwen? Are you alright? Where are you?” Elyan shouted through the receiver.

“Ealdor. I needed to get out of London. It’s been five years since this all began.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? I would have gone with you.”

“It’s alright. I needed to do this on my own. I needed to reassure myself I _could_ go somewhere alone, you know?”

“Be careful.”

“I will. Arthur and Merlin are around here somewhere and maybe Will too? Although I can’t keep track of where that man goes.”

“Don’t ask me. I can’t even keep track of you. Lance said you went off somewhere and--he’s laughing at me now because I panicked, but let me panic, you’ve done some stupid things these past couple years too. Need I remind you of the time you nearly ran Gaius over to drag Morgana’s unconscious body back home?”

“I don’t quite remember it that way,” she laughed. “But I’ll be careful. I have to be home by tonight anyway.”

“Lance and I will pick you up at Paddington.”

“Okay, you two enjoy your day.”

A dark shadow swept over her and then Aithusa landed in front of her in the surf. She splashed around for a minute and Gwen glanced behind her to see Merlin approaching.

He stopped next to her, looking out over the ocean. “What brings you out here?”

“Needed the space. Needed to convince myself the world was safe.”

Merlin smiled, and then reached out and held her hand, “This is real.”

She eyed him curiously, “When you say it like that, I have a hard time believing it.”

He let go of her hand and laughed, “Come on, we have strawberries for lunch if you want? I’m sure Mum will want to make you lunch as well, sometimes I think you’re her favorite.”

Gwen smiled but then it slipped and she found herself speaking without really meaning to, “Why didn’t you let us know you were alive.”

Merlin’s smile slipped as well and he mulled over her words for a minute When he spoke, it was with a tired voice and he couldn't look her in the eye, “It’s..when I woke up...I just--I didn’t...there was just--everything had changed. Dragons and prophecies and it all pointed to Arthur. I knew I had to find him and I knew finding him would probably kill me so...I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want any of you to try to come after me. It was a suicide mission and I didn’t want anyone else to die because of me.”

Gwen threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly, “We did anyway. We all went after the pair of you anyway.”

“You did. In the end I couldn’t stop you all from risking your lives.”

“It all worked out.”

Merlin shook his head, “I’m sorry, for not letting you know. I’m sorry for making you go so long thinking I was dead.”

“I’m sorry this all happened in the first place.”

Athusia, almost as if she had just noticed the two of them hugging, flew overtop of them and then dove around them, sprinkling them with water. Gwen screamed and tried to duck away but the dragon flew into her arms and nuzzled her. She held her with an exaggerated look to Merlin to demonstrate how heavy she was getting. Merlin grinned.

“I don’t know how I’m going to keep her a secret, but...they’re already trying to tear themselves apart over zombies. Imagine what it would be like if we threw magic and dragons into it as well.”

“And merpeople, and the fae and vampires.”

Gwen laughed but then realized Merlin wasn’t joking. She glanced back to the ocean and Athusia took to the sky again, swooping low as she headed back to the house. Arthur was calling them.

“Was everyone who came back to camp with you, entirely _human_?” she asked despite herself.

Merlin laughed, “No. We basically brought half of Grimm’s fairy tales back with us.”

“Things don’t get easier, do they?” she sighed, she had pretty much guessed that some of the others were magic users, Finna and Freya in particular, she just hadn’t known that vampires and fae had been options too. It didn’t matter much, they had all been through so much together that they were friends, bloodsucking tendencies or not. 

“You’re going to be amazing, Gwen. You’re going to build a new world.”

“I’m going to be sitting in meetings over building zones thinking about how I’m going to break it to them that Ariel is on my speedial!”

“Morgana will help you with that I’m sure.”

“Oh my god, Merlin. Let’s go get something to eat. Your mother and Arthur will take my mind off _that_ impending disaster.”

Merlin laughed, took her hand and the three of them headed back to their cottage. Her parents were situated next door and when they walked into Hunith’s home, her mother jumped out of her seat to hug her.

“Guinevere!” she cried, ‘What are you doing here!”

“Had to reassure myself I could do things on my own again. I’m afraid we’ve all grown a bit codependent.”

“Tell me about it,” her father groaned, but he too got up and hugged her tightly. “I can hardly do anything at my own home anymore. The boys are always there helping out. One day you’re all going to go back to London and I’ll be able to fix my own door again in peace.”

“As Gwen demonstrated, it’ll only take us a couple hours to get out here now that the trains are running again.”

“Guinevere.” Arthur greeted her, and hugged her with Athusia perched haphazardly on his shoulder like an oversized parrot. 

“Arthur.” she smiled and then kissed his cheek. She was never going to be over him. Lance teased her, saying how sometimes he felt like she was still in love with him; never mind the fact that when they had been in love they had been children and their love now was completely different. She was amazed by him, by the fact he was somehow fucking alive.

“How’s Gwaine doing with the babies?”

“Their Aunt Morgana is teaching them how to swear to spite him and their Uncle Perce is teaching them football.”

“But he’s okay?”

“He’s living with Elyan, Perce and Leon. Between the four of them they’re all doing wonderful.”

“Good.”

“Sit, sit, eat--how long are you here for?”

“She has to go back for a meeting this afternoon, I heard her talking to Elyan.”

All four of them frowned, “I just needed to remind myself the world isn’t as scary as some of them try to make it appear.”

Her father frowned sharply, “Some of the nonsense that comes out of their mouths, and to think they’re elected officials.”

“Most of us are still volunteer.” Gwen shrugged.

Her mother frogmarched her to the table and sat her down, “Eat something before you have to leave.”

“Remind me I have gifts for you all.”

“Jams! We made jams!”

“Hunith, Mary, please.” Arthur began, looking at hers and Merlin’s mothers pointedly, “You don’t possibly have enough to give away, they’ll be none left for you.”

“Arthur,” they both admonished him in the same tone and Gwen glanced to Merlin,  who raised his eyebrows and smiled.

“Still think things aren’t going to work out okay?”

Gwen smiled, “I’m sure we’ll find a way to dig ourselves out of whatever we get ourselves into.”


End file.
